In 2009, a buddy & I went to Philadelphia for a wrestling show. It was a solid day trip; we left my house at twelve, got there at five, ate Wendy's at six, & grab our seats at seven. As we were waiting for the dark match, a vendor was marching up the stairs, carrying a tube full of ice, long necks, & clear plastic cups.
He was shouting, "Beer here! Beer here! Wrestling's better with a beer!"
Now who can deny that logic? What sound sage-like wisdom. Stranger yet, it came from a native of Philly. Not since the writing of the Declaration of Independence has anything so profoundly intellectual come from the City of Brotherly Love. The great thing about this statement is it can be altered to any scenario.
"Baseball's better with a beer!"
"The Super Bowl is better with a beer!"
"The Oscars are better with a beer!"
"Toby Keith is better with a beer!"
"Grandpa's funeral is better with a beer!"
"Your child's baptism is better with a beer!"
I bought a Yuengling & used it to wash down my new philosophy in life.
January 31, 2012
January 28, 2012
He Said What . . . ?!
Below I have borrowed (piss off SOPA) a clip from the NHL All-Star Draft last Thursday Night. Chicago Blackhawks' forward Patrick Kane wore a microphone for the event. Hear what he had to say at the six second mark. Go ahead, I'll wait . . . done yet? C'mon the clip is only ten seconds.
Many people are upset with Patty Kane for this. Why? He cannot check someone out? Give me a break. Sometimes, the sticks up people's asses are edged in too tight.
Many people are upset with Patty Kane for this. Why? He cannot check someone out? Give me a break. Sometimes, the sticks up people's asses are edged in too tight.
January 27, 2012
Benchwarmers
Every good team has deep bench. The bench is used to sub the star players out and give them a rest so they are fresh for the game's crunch time. Almost every championship team is equipped with a deep, talented bench (ask the 2010-2011 Miami Heat if a bench matters!).
For us fans of sports, a good bench is equally important. Not in terms of getting rest or providing a spark, but in a more 'everyday' sense.
Example: The NHL Winter Classic came to Pittsburgh a couple years ago. I, like practically all of the city, was beyond jacked. The cool thing was, the game was going to air at noon on New Year's Day. My workplace, Sheetz, mandates all employees to work holidays, but on half shifts with time and half pay. I was scheduled to work 10am-2pm. An obvious problem (mainly because I didn't ask for a earlier shift in the SIX MONTHS beforehand).
Enter, the bench. Like a good coach would, I called on my bench . . . in this case coworkers who don't care about sports. Every workplace has them. The people who cannot name the Steelers's starting quarterback or do not know that the Pirates suck. They simply have no interest in athletic competition. They're the go-to people when us sports fans need a quick change.
After a couple of phone calls and texts, I found someone to take my shift. Would I miss the extra money? Probably, but like Hell was I going to miss the Pens vs the Caps in the Winter Classic! So thank you, lacking sports-enthusiast coworkers. This blog is dedicated to you.
Bonus! The game was pushed back to seven at night so I got the whole damn day off. Buck in the system.
For us fans of sports, a good bench is equally important. Not in terms of getting rest or providing a spark, but in a more 'everyday' sense.
Example: The NHL Winter Classic came to Pittsburgh a couple years ago. I, like practically all of the city, was beyond jacked. The cool thing was, the game was going to air at noon on New Year's Day. My workplace, Sheetz, mandates all employees to work holidays, but on half shifts with time and half pay. I was scheduled to work 10am-2pm. An obvious problem (mainly because I didn't ask for a earlier shift in the SIX MONTHS beforehand).
Enter, the bench. Like a good coach would, I called on my bench . . . in this case coworkers who don't care about sports. Every workplace has them. The people who cannot name the Steelers's starting quarterback or do not know that the Pirates suck. They simply have no interest in athletic competition. They're the go-to people when us sports fans need a quick change.
After a couple of phone calls and texts, I found someone to take my shift. Would I miss the extra money? Probably, but like Hell was I going to miss the Pens vs the Caps in the Winter Classic! So thank you, lacking sports-enthusiast coworkers. This blog is dedicated to you.
Bonus! The game was pushed back to seven at night so I got the whole damn day off. Buck in the system.
January 25, 2012
When Sports Rob You of Your Genius
Thanks Billy Cundiff. Thanks a lot.
It was Week 15 in the NFL when I made the bold prediction that the Baltimore Ravens would represent the American Football Conference in the Super Bowl. Yes, I picked those hated Ravens. Yes, I picked them over the Steelers. A cardinal sin 'round these parts (Ha! totally made a avian pun). My buddies informed me that Pittsburgh was the dark horse or dark horses. They would win. I wasn't convinced. I liked Baltimore's chances. It was the strange combination of their stout defense and cocky attitude of their quarterback Joe Flacco and their awesome running game lead my Ray Rice. I looked at their team and though winners.
I looked good when Tebow bounced Pittsburgh out in the Wild Card round. My resolve was strengthened when the Ravens defeated the Houston Texans a week later. And for three quarters of the AFC Championship Game, the Ravens outplayed the dynasty known as the New England Patriots. The Pats came back in the fourth, but the Ravens hung around.
With fifteen seconds left, New England lead 23-20. But Baltimore was driving down the field on the arm of Flacco with assits from the hands and legs of Anquan Boldin. The drive stalled, but the damage was done. Fate called upon Billy Cundiff
All I needed was for Cundiff to make a chip-shot 23 yard field goal to send the game into overtime. Anything can happen in overtime. Anything! I was still on the verge of being called 'the guy that called it'. I was still in the hunt of looking like a freaking genius. I was--
He fucking missed it! That damn thing didn't have a chance once it left his fucking toe!
So I'm not 'that guy'. I'm not smarter than my friends. Hell, I'm another victim of Tom Brady.
It was Week 15 in the NFL when I made the bold prediction that the Baltimore Ravens would represent the American Football Conference in the Super Bowl. Yes, I picked those hated Ravens. Yes, I picked them over the Steelers. A cardinal sin 'round these parts (Ha! totally made a avian pun). My buddies informed me that Pittsburgh was the dark horse or dark horses. They would win. I wasn't convinced. I liked Baltimore's chances. It was the strange combination of their stout defense and cocky attitude of their quarterback Joe Flacco and their awesome running game lead my Ray Rice. I looked at their team and though winners.
I looked good when Tebow bounced Pittsburgh out in the Wild Card round. My resolve was strengthened when the Ravens defeated the Houston Texans a week later. And for three quarters of the AFC Championship Game, the Ravens outplayed the dynasty known as the New England Patriots. The Pats came back in the fourth, but the Ravens hung around.
With fifteen seconds left, New England lead 23-20. But Baltimore was driving down the field on the arm of Flacco with assits from the hands and legs of Anquan Boldin. The drive stalled, but the damage was done. Fate called upon Billy Cundiff
All I needed was for Cundiff to make a chip-shot 23 yard field goal to send the game into overtime. Anything can happen in overtime. Anything! I was still on the verge of being called 'the guy that called it'. I was still in the hunt of looking like a freaking genius. I was--
He fucking missed it! That damn thing didn't have a chance once it left his fucking toe!
So I'm not 'that guy'. I'm not smarter than my friends. Hell, I'm another victim of Tom Brady.
January 18, 2012
The Best Teammate
My fiancee Lindsey is the best teammate I've ever had. She calms me down when my chili's been running hot. She asks me if I want a beer every time she gets up (which is pretty damn romantic to me!). She listens to my ideas and gives me strong feedback. Hell, her input makes my stories better. She says my backrubs are good when I know they suck. Cliches be damned, she makes me a better person.
Sometimes, she declares her intention to make a cake. Out of left field she'll say, "I think I'm going to make a cake for _____". This is one of my favorite sentences I hear her say. I converted her into a fan of hockey & professional wrestling. She loves Geno and hates The Miz. Her laugh is loud and her punches hurt after the twelfth one.
We went to Wrestlemania 27 last year in Atlanta, Georgia. During the Undertaker/Triple H match, she stood up on her toes and shouted in my ear, "This is awesome!", then kissed me on the cheek. It only gets better everyday.
Sometimes, she declares her intention to make a cake. Out of left field she'll say, "I think I'm going to make a cake for _____". This is one of my favorite sentences I hear her say. I converted her into a fan of hockey & professional wrestling. She loves Geno and hates The Miz. Her laugh is loud and her punches hurt after the twelfth one.
We went to Wrestlemania 27 last year in Atlanta, Georgia. During the Undertaker/Triple H match, she stood up on her toes and shouted in my ear, "This is awesome!", then kissed me on the cheek. It only gets better everyday.
Away Games: Going to the Bar for the Game
Most people would rather watch the game one of two ways: at home or at the actually game itself. For those whom want the comfort of home with a arena atmosphere, they go to their local bar. Here's a Pro-Con list for doing such:
Pro - Loud people make game more fun.
Con - Loud people will eventually irritate you.
Pro - Beer tastes better and is colder at a bar. Who knows why, it just does.
Con - Beer is expensive at a bar. Especially if you cannot stomach shit beer like Miller Light & Budanything.
Pro - Bar food is fucking awesome. Nay, amazing. The strategy of batter-coating stuff and deep-frying it to golden perfection works on any level. Plus, bar food is usually cheapish.
Con - Ask the toilet about an hour later . . .
Pro - You get insight into the game from worldly, knowledgeable fans who have been watching this sport for decades. Some of the wisest people gather at bars.
Con - Drunks try to do the same thing. Hell, if they're not drunk than they're idiots who think the referees are constantly screwing the Steelers and this year is the Pirates' year because of . . . um, I don't know?
Pro - Lots of television screens to view the game.
Con - No volume to hear the game.
If you cannot tell, I like my couch or a barstool. But you make up your own damn mind.
Pro - Loud people make game more fun.
Con - Loud people will eventually irritate you.
Pro - Beer tastes better and is colder at a bar. Who knows why, it just does.
Con - Beer is expensive at a bar. Especially if you cannot stomach shit beer like Miller Light & Budanything.
Pro - Bar food is fucking awesome. Nay, amazing. The strategy of batter-coating stuff and deep-frying it to golden perfection works on any level. Plus, bar food is usually cheapish.
Con - Ask the toilet about an hour later . . .
Pro - You get insight into the game from worldly, knowledgeable fans who have been watching this sport for decades. Some of the wisest people gather at bars.
Con - Drunks try to do the same thing. Hell, if they're not drunk than they're idiots who think the referees are constantly screwing the Steelers and this year is the Pirates' year because of . . . um, I don't know?
Pro - Lots of television screens to view the game.
Con - No volume to hear the game.
If you cannot tell, I like my couch or a barstool. But you make up your own damn mind.
He Said What . . . ?!
This is a new segment which I cannot wait to make a regular thing. If given enough time and chances, sports commentators will say some of the dumbest shit. Case in point (and these guys should be really honored to be the first ones here), Bob Errey and Paul Steigerwald. During the Penguins game against the Carolina Hurricanes last night, they said this about 'Canes' netminder Cam Ward:
Steigerwald - "Ward has been on his knees a lot tonight."
Errey - "He was trying to open Ward's legs."
Congradulations, guys! Yins should probably have rephrased.
Steigerwald - "Ward has been on his knees a lot tonight."
Errey - "He was trying to open Ward's legs."
Congradulations, guys! Yins should probably have rephrased.
January 16, 2012
Team Chemistry: Who You Watch What With Matters
Last Saturday, the New Orleans Saints were defeated by the San Francisco 49ers in a instant classic playoff game. It was high scoring, full of big plays, and tears were even dripped. Any football fan enjoyed the Hell outta this game. I certainly did, but for more than the awesomeness of the game. A old lesson was reiterated to me: who you watch the game with matters.
I witnessed the first half of the game with a friend o' mine after we completed work-shopping on our stories for class. Hell, I wasn't excepting to watch the football game because I thought this chore would take longer (maybe our shared laziness in outside class work contributed . . . ?). We sat in my basement bedroom and I stealthily turned the game on (for background noise, duh). Soon, she started watching Drew Brees sling the pigskin around. Now, she has a passing knowledge of football: she knows what a touchdown is, understands defense is important, and can appreciate a big play. That's fine, but I wasn't able to emerge myself into the game. When Tarell Brown intercepted a overthrown ball off-balanced with his fingertips, I flipped! She nodded her head. This is going to sound asshole-ish, but I was thankful she had to go and I was clear to run to my buddy's house for the second half.
There, I was in football mode. Loud and animated and dissecting plays while my buddy sung the praises of every big time player. The fourth quarter showcased thirty-four points and three backbreaking, momentum-stealing plays. Our testosterone-fueled yelling probably drew the ire of his neighbors, but we didn't care. IT'S FOOTBALL! America's game! You don't like it call the cops. Hell, they probably would join us and have a couple of beers.
Moral of the story, pick who you watch the game with carefully and work your school schedule around it. Your teachers will understand a paper being a day late on the Monday after the divisional round of playoffs. They're cool like that. My female friend however . . . I'll buy her a Starbucks coffee to apologize.
I witnessed the first half of the game with a friend o' mine after we completed work-shopping on our stories for class. Hell, I wasn't excepting to watch the football game because I thought this chore would take longer (maybe our shared laziness in outside class work contributed . . . ?). We sat in my basement bedroom and I stealthily turned the game on (for background noise, duh). Soon, she started watching Drew Brees sling the pigskin around. Now, she has a passing knowledge of football: she knows what a touchdown is, understands defense is important, and can appreciate a big play. That's fine, but I wasn't able to emerge myself into the game. When Tarell Brown intercepted a overthrown ball off-balanced with his fingertips, I flipped! She nodded her head. This is going to sound asshole-ish, but I was thankful she had to go and I was clear to run to my buddy's house for the second half.
There, I was in football mode. Loud and animated and dissecting plays while my buddy sung the praises of every big time player. The fourth quarter showcased thirty-four points and three backbreaking, momentum-stealing plays. Our testosterone-fueled yelling probably drew the ire of his neighbors, but we didn't care. IT'S FOOTBALL! America's game! You don't like it call the cops. Hell, they probably would join us and have a couple of beers.
Moral of the story, pick who you watch the game with carefully and work your school schedule around it. Your teachers will understand a paper being a day late on the Monday after the divisional round of playoffs. They're cool like that. My female friend however . . . I'll buy her a Starbucks coffee to apologize.
January 14, 2012
Pre-Game: The Introduction to What the Hell is Going Here
What's up? How's it going? How 'bout them Steelers?
My name is Andrew Brown & I am a avid sports fan. When I say sports fan I mean any and all athletic competition; hockey, baseball, auto racing, football, basketball--it doesn't matter! Hell, I even watch professional wrestling and golf. My teenage and young adult years have been spent sitting on my ass in front of the television, eating pretzels, drinking beer, and watching sports. Regrets? Hell no, except there being only two ESPNs. When I do leave the loving embrace of the couch, I'm most likely going to a game or making a beer run.
Thanks to this rigoruos training regimen, I have developed many opinions and made many observations regarding the sports world. Some are funny. Some are nasty. Some are . . . well, pointless (that omition surely won me more readers). I hope my posts well entertain & maybe inform you. Hell, if you disagree than say so. What's cooler talk without some one else? Have fun! Game on!
My name is Andrew Brown & I am a avid sports fan. When I say sports fan I mean any and all athletic competition; hockey, baseball, auto racing, football, basketball--it doesn't matter! Hell, I even watch professional wrestling and golf. My teenage and young adult years have been spent sitting on my ass in front of the television, eating pretzels, drinking beer, and watching sports. Regrets? Hell no, except there being only two ESPNs. When I do leave the loving embrace of the couch, I'm most likely going to a game or making a beer run.
Thanks to this rigoruos training regimen, I have developed many opinions and made many observations regarding the sports world. Some are funny. Some are nasty. Some are . . . well, pointless (that omition surely won me more readers). I hope my posts well entertain & maybe inform you. Hell, if you disagree than say so. What's cooler talk without some one else? Have fun! Game on!
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