Madden

Yesterday I played Madden '12 on the Xbox with my buddy, Ziggy. This isn't the first time & certainly wouldn't be the last, but I yesterday I learned something about myself that those other times kept from me. I suck. I suck hard at Madden. I throw seven interceptions and lost 30-24, I don't think it was that close. When did I become a bad Madden player? I used to play two-three games a day after school on my archaic Playstation. I was pretty good then. The computer was sent to All-Madden. I beat the computer plenty. I beat my friends plenty, too. When did the switch turn? Ziggy's got my number. Fact. I think I defeated him once . . . this year. Maybe, we should go back to playing Mortal Kombat . . . where's he's crushed me . . . I hate video games.

NASCAR Week! What a First Chapter

The 54th edition of the Daytona 500 seems like it was written by Homer & directed by Peter Jackson. It was a true odyssey, both in time &  action. It all began with the Sunday rain delay that carried over to Monday afternoon. The race's start time was moved twice, but I heard no one complain about dropping the green flag at prime time. When the cars did run, the racing was intense. Hell, it took only two laps for a multi-car wreck to happen. A crash that took out the Villain (Kurt Busch), the Young Gun (Trevor Bayne), old 5-Time (Jimmie Johnson), & the Sensation (Danica Patrick). Then throw into the crazy pot Juan Pablo Montoya's bizarre accident involving a jet dryer that engendered a wild fire on turn three. Absolute insanity! Does anyone remember Matt Kenseth winning the thing? This is why I watch racing! For the things you never think will happen. Thank you NASCAR for three days of craziness.

NASCAR Week! Rain Delay

One of the worst things about watching racing is the threat of rain. If it rains, your plans after the race are shot. Rain parks the cars, slicks the track to un-drivable conditions, & the process to dry the asphalt surface takes hours. That's what happened Sunday at Daytona, Florida. I watched four hours of driver interviews (which all sound the same after the fifteenth one) & analysts discussing things like which driver has the best golf game. A friend asked me how the analysts could keep talking for so long & I couldn't answer her. Rain is racing is hell. It does teach you patience, but doesn't let you see a field of race cars thunder down the backstretch. I think I'd rather have the latter.   

NASCAR Week! Dale Jr.

Ask ten NASCAR fans whom their favorite driver is. I bet you a sack of donuts that at least eight of them say Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Dale Jr is, of course, the son of the legendary Dale Earnhardt & NASCAR's meal ticket. He has won the Most Popular Driver of the Year Award nine straight years (despite not winning a race in  five years) & his merchendise is always a top seller. If you ever go to a NASCAR track, you'll witness a ocean of mixed red number 8s & blue/green number 88s (depending on how old & stubborn the fan is). The flagpoles in the infield will feature the Stars & Strips above a image of Dale Jr's car. Go to Talladega & watch the fans as he marches toward the front. When he takes the leads . . . your ears will bled. Dale Jr was Linsanity before Jeremy played college ball.

The reason for this? For all the love from NASCAR Country? The easy answer is his last name. When Dale's dad died in 2001, many of his fans turned into Jr. fans. That's a pill which is a little too easy for me to swallow. I think its is good ol'e boy personaility. He mutters & mumbles during interviews. He still hangs out with his friends from high school. He's level headed & easy going, like the leading man in a country song. Dale Jr is massive in the racing universe. Hell, just watch the Dyatona 500 & see for yourselves.

NASCAR Week! Who Watches Racing?

*sniff sniff* Can you smell it? Can you smell that awesome mixture of burnt rubber, BBQ sauce, gas fumes, smoke, & cheap beer? Can you hear the thunderous roar of forty-three engines, the snap of wind breaking, & thousands of fans chanting 'Junior, Junior, Junior!'? Can you feel it?

I can. It's time for the Daytona 500. It's time for NASCAR.

In honor of NASCAR season kicking off this Sunday with the prestigious 'Great American Race', I'll have themed stock car racing topics til Friday. A ton of yins will not like this, but maybe we can open your minds to racing, huh? NASCAR has the most diverse fan base of any sporting league. I've been to several tracks & have seen all demographics; men, women, whites, blacks, Hispanics, business people, rednecks (admittedly predominately), & once (at Richmond) a gay couple who held hands the entire four hundred laps (no one bothered them). At work (Sheetz), the regulars who know of my fandom share theirs with me. When I see them on Tuesday, we have a flash conservation about what happened Sunday.

NASCAR is for everybody . . . maybe even you. Why not give it a chance? 

 

Invented Word

What with Jeremy Yin on the scene, the sports world has seen a slew of new words. I wouldn't take the easy way out & make up another Lin-ism . . . Lindventurous! Ha!

Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude

A mouthful, yes, but it can be applied to any facet of watching or playing sports. You see, us sports fans have some of the filthiest mouths of anyone. Truckers envy us. Lindsey yells at me for swearing so much at the television. She claims our children will not be allowed to be with me while there's a game on. So 'motherfuckdamnitallhelldude' fits all our favorites into one, easy to use word.

"The Pirates traded McCutchen for a bag of peanuts & tickets to Spider-Man on Broadway? Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude!"

"Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude! I sliced left & got it in the sand trap."

"She's a Flyers fan? Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude, she would have been perfect!"

Its stupid, I know. But wait until it catches on . . .

Linsane in the Membrane

Have any of yins heard of Jeremy Yin?

No?

Maybe a picture will help,

Still no? How?

He's everywhere. Since becoming the starting point guard of the New York Knicks, the Chinese-American player has racked up 136 points in five games. That's a record. A big record. So naturally people are buzzed. Its a recipe of his nationality, skill, location, and franchise. He's good and the story is great (at one point last week, he didn't have a soild contract and was sleepong on a teammate's couch), but give me a break with the Lin coverage. ESPN's Sportcenter runs for an hour and (no joke) thrity-three minutes of the show was about Lin. That's linlogical. Plus, there's a ton of words being altered to have a 'lin' in them. Like linsanity, Linvinicible, Lindrella, Super Lintendo, & (my favorite) Mr. Lincredible.

I get that its a big story & something like this doesn't happen often, but lets have put a cap on his coverage. I mean, the Red Wings won twenty-one straight home games (also a record) & Hines Ward might not be a Steeler anymore. Can we shorten Lin's airtime down to . . . um . . . like fifteen, twenty minutes? Please?

The Longest Sunday

Yesterday was Sunday, my favorite day of the week. Its not because of church or work or diners at Grandma's. Not for the thickest newspaper of the week or the smell of biscuits & honey. Sunday is a the day were I can relax, watch a sporting event, & let the week that was disappear from my memory. So this last Sunday, with no games on til the Pens played at seven, was . . . long. The afternoon dragged on & the two hours before puck-drop sent me into a stupor which I am still recovering from. The weeks between the Super Bowl & Daytona 500 are the toughest to get through. An occasional hockey game helps out, but the fact is . . . I'm walking through a desert. Can't wait to get on the other side.

Personal Note

I realized that some of my posts (the last one especially) might paint me as a alcoholic. That may be, but I don't think so. For whatever reason, the idea of enjoying a sporting event with a long-neck has been woven into my 'man'-fabric. I asked Lindsey if she thinks I should attend a AA meeting or two. She said I treat beer in the same fashion as one of my heroes: Homer Simpson.

She says this clip is 'completely me':

What's your opinion? About beer & sports that is.

Pair Up: Beers to Sports

Food & alcohol . . . ah! They compliment each other in the same harmony as cats & old, lonely people. A good chardonnay goes well with poultry. A stiff whiskey & savory ribs match up nicely. Certain things & boozes are connected to the point of cliche. Champagne & love making. Rum & pirates. Punch & holiday parties. Thunderbird & homeless people. And, of course, beer & sports.

That's not enough for me. There are charts about wine & food, like a hockey coach making the best lines. I see a need for the same in the sports world: what beers go best with different sports. I will go by brand & not by style because I am not that smart & neither are most sports fans. Yes, there are exceptions, but save all questions for after the post.

Baseball & Yuengling Lager - This is a match of historical American traditions. The first baseball game was played in 1846 in Hoboken, New Jersey. The first Yuengling brewery was opened in 1829. The two grew up together, learned from their mistakes together, & flourished together. Hell, their dear old friends practically.  

Football & Budweiser - There isn't anything too challenging about the gridiron. Almost everyone knows the details of football over any other sport. It is a basic thing that is loved by many. Kinda like the St. Louis brewery's beer flavored water. I hate Budweiser, but like the NFL, it's everywhere. You cannot escape it. Think about how many beer commericals aired during the Super Bowl. Now think of what beer they where advising . . .

Hockey & Moloson - They're both relatively unknown & Canadian. Hockey seems to be the red-haired step-child of American sports, both are ignored & left alone to do whatever they please. The NHL progressively reforms itself (from rules to realignment to All-Star Game formant) more than other top leagues, but ESPN & other sports media outlets don't recognize their efforts (except you NBC, but it is wise to promote your own programming, right?). Moloson is a quality import beer that is overshadowed by others (Mexican beer & Labatt Blue). These two are the tastiness pair of this list.

Basketball & any light beer - This goes against my beer-loving-masculine self so hard! I see no value & purpose of light beer. If you are counting calories . . . then don't drink beer! 'Diet' & 'beer' don't belong in the same sentence. Any self-respecting person will tell you that (men especially!). Alas, with such a fast-paced game that requires you to skillfully watch the orange globe, light beer finds itself a niche.

Your welcome. Suggestions?

Finally! Its Over!

To me, the worst time to be a sports fan is the two weeks before the Super Bowl and the week after. There's nothing wrong with the game itself. Hell, its called America's Game for a reason & the one they played Sunday was good. Damn good. That said, the rest of it is mind-numbing.

You cannot watch ESPN the two weeks beforehand that magical Sunday. The network digs analysts out of the walls to dissect every aspect of the game. Who has the better pas rush? Who's quarterback is more elite? Which team has the better color scheme? How many first downs should we expect to see? If you had to pick, which team has more of a chance to eat more hamburgers? Okay, some of these are nonsense, but you get the point. ESPN will ignore the rest of the sporting world to talk about one game . . . in two weeks.

Injury news is also annoying during this span. Look at Rob Gronkowski's ankle. True, the injury played an important part of the game, but there where literally 'breaking news' about the status of the tight end's foot joint. My friends knew more about Gronk's busted ankle than the Occupy Pittsburghers getting evicted. Sad.

Now that the game is over, ESPN will over-analyze what happened. They'll play the 'what if' game & critize players for a mistake. Salt in the wound. Merril Hoge'll sy Eli is the best quarterback in the league when six months ago he wouldn't allow him into his top fifteen. Overflowing love for the Giants will pouring out of the television & stain your carpet. Then, they'll talk about if the Giant can repeat or how the Giant can get better in the draft. The draft! That's another story!

Ths is around the time when I cannot wait for NASCAR to start. Daytona 500 in thre weeks, baby!

Congradulations New York Giants

Josh Hamilton: Role Model

I don't know if any of you know who Josh Hamilton, but he's a athlete you should familiarize yourselves with. Mr. Hamilton is the left fielder for the Texas Rangers. He's 6'4", 240 lbs., and left-handed. Josh is a four-time All-Star, the 2010 AL MVP, and a genuinely nice guy.

He's also (and this is were the story begins) a recovering alcoholic. He'll tell you that without shame.

His tale is a sad one. He began his baseball career in 2001 as a top prospect and a drug/alcohol addict. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays tried to help him, but he successfully drank and used his way out of the MLB by 2004. After being confronted by his grandmother, he entered rehab in 2005.

In 2007, a clean Josh Hamilton returned to baseball as a Cincinnati Red. The next season, the Reds traded him to Texas were his career as taken off and he's one of the most complete players today. But alcoholism is a progressive recovery and one is never wholly cured. Thursday, Hamilton held a press conference and admitted to a recent relapse.

Why did he do this? He could have kept that too himself. I think its because he knows he is a role model to anyone suffering for a addiction. I applaud his candor and strength. It is admirable of him to open up and let others see his weakness. He is brave enough to be the face of addiction.

I openly cheer for Josh Hamilton. The baseball player and the human being.

Ode to Mascots

What's the purpose of mascots? Do fans really need a Nerf-textured animal inspiring them to cheer?

 Is it for the kids? Probably, but do they really care?
Um . . . probably, because they get excited when they see them.
And they like to hug them.

Okay, mascots are cool.

WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Highlights - [HQ]

The actual Royal Rumble highlights being at the 4:05 mark. If you're interested . . . I know, you're not :(

Gambling & Sports: Winning Combination

Last Sunday was the beginning of two important (well, important to me anyway) things. It was WWE's Royal Rumble, the starting point to the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is a 30-man match were wrestlers enter at two minute intervals and are eliminated only by being thrown over the top rope. The winner gets to wrestle in the main event of Wrestlemania. The Rumble is pure fun and excitement, but my buddies & I found a way to make it even better.

All you have to do is put money on line.

I credit Ziggy & I for the creation of the Rumble Raffle. We decided to have every one (him, I, our buddies KJ & TJ, my cousin Zack, sister Katherine, and me own mother) put five bucks into a pot and draw three random numbers. If the winner of the Royal Rumble coincides with one of your numbers . . . you win the pot! because there weren't enough of us to pick all thrity numbers, we'd all get our five dollars back if the winner was one of them. Simple gambling at its best!

Thats what makes sports gambling so fun. It gives you a extra thing to care about. To worry over. To hope agianst or for. It hurt when one of my numbers was a guy who clearly wasn't going to win the Rumble. My cousin and sister don't even watch wrestling and they had a blast. Put money up, and you'll care about anything. One time, I went to a Pirates game & a couple rows in front of me where four guys placing two dollar bets on which pierogie would win the race.

So I'd advise all of you to start betting your life's savings on anything with a ball or puck. Go on! Do it! You got nothing to lose . . . kinda . . . I lost the Raffle. My buddy KJ won $35.