Really, Shea Weber? In your career you've never done anything so blatantly goon-ish. You're better than that. Way better than that. You've been tagged as the guy who'll win Norris Trophies, not a higher profile Matt Cooke. Hell, the glass might as well be a turnbuckle & you're wearing a singlet. What's more disturbing is that it was the end of game so no penalty. The NHL isn't going to suspend you, but they'll hurt your wallet. Yeah. What are you going to do without that $2,500? Wait . . . that's it? You drop $2,500 at Dick's for golf clubs. Even the 'punishment' sucks. I thought Brendan Shanahan was going to put an end to this kind of thing?
April 13, 2012
Shea Weber . . . What The Hell Bro?
The Nashville Predators & Detroit Red Wings began their seven game playoff series Wednesday. Now, I love nothing more than when division rivals become playoff foes. There is already a hatred there & it only gets worse (better?) when they are forced to play an additional four to seven times. Detroit has owned the Central Division for . . . like what? Twenty years? Nashville entered the league in 1997 & has been the Red Wings' annoying little brother. They play Detroit rough, but Detroit usually wins (they bounced the Predators twice out of the first round of the playoffs). So little Nashville wants their sibling to know they mean business. They're not going to be pushed around anymore. They're getting the last cookie & they're watching Spongebob, damnit!
Really, Shea Weber? In your career you've never done anything so blatantly goon-ish. You're better than that. Way better than that. You've been tagged as the guy who'll win Norris Trophies, not a higher profile Matt Cooke. Hell, the glass might as well be a turnbuckle & you're wearing a singlet. What's more disturbing is that it was the end of game so no penalty. The NHL isn't going to suspend you, but they'll hurt your wallet. Yeah. What are you going to do without that $2,500? Wait . . . that's it? You drop $2,500 at Dick's for golf clubs. Even the 'punishment' sucks. I thought Brendan Shanahan was going to put an end to this kind of thing?
Really, Shea Weber? In your career you've never done anything so blatantly goon-ish. You're better than that. Way better than that. You've been tagged as the guy who'll win Norris Trophies, not a higher profile Matt Cooke. Hell, the glass might as well be a turnbuckle & you're wearing a singlet. What's more disturbing is that it was the end of game so no penalty. The NHL isn't going to suspend you, but they'll hurt your wallet. Yeah. What are you going to do without that $2,500? Wait . . . that's it? You drop $2,500 at Dick's for golf clubs. Even the 'punishment' sucks. I thought Brendan Shanahan was going to put an end to this kind of thing?
April 11, 2012
Third Lap
February 18th, 2001. Daytona, Florida. The Great American Race. We lost a legend.
On the last lap of the Daytona 500, the NASCAR community saw Dale Earnhardt turned left by Sterling Marlin & t-boned by Ken Schrader. His skull was fatally fractured. He died instantly. A seven-time Cup champion & winner of seventy-six races & flag-bearer for a sport was gone. His son, Dale Earnhardt Jr. finished second & Michael Waltrip, driving a car owned by Earnhardt, won the tragically historic race.
For a year after his death, every track NASCAR visited held a silent third lap in respect to the trailblazing racer. It was a touching tribute & fans raised their hands in the air with three fingers pointed skyward. His death ushered a revolution in driver safety. His legacy lives on in the SAFER (Steel And Foam Energy Reduction) barriers which line the walls of all race tracks today. The Intimidator lost his life, but has saved many more. Rest in peace, Dale.
On the last lap of the Daytona 500, the NASCAR community saw Dale Earnhardt turned left by Sterling Marlin & t-boned by Ken Schrader. His skull was fatally fractured. He died instantly. A seven-time Cup champion & winner of seventy-six races & flag-bearer for a sport was gone. His son, Dale Earnhardt Jr. finished second & Michael Waltrip, driving a car owned by Earnhardt, won the tragically historic race.
For a year after his death, every track NASCAR visited held a silent third lap in respect to the trailblazing racer. It was a touching tribute & fans raised their hands in the air with three fingers pointed skyward. His death ushered a revolution in driver safety. His legacy lives on in the SAFER (Steel And Foam Energy Reduction) barriers which line the walls of all race tracks today. The Intimidator lost his life, but has saved many more. Rest in peace, Dale.
Triple Crown
The Triple Crown is the ultimate achievement in United States horse racing. One Thoroughbred must win three races (Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, & Belmont Stakes) over the course of five weeks. It is a daunting task. People have to realize that a race horse is every bit the athlete has a Olympic-level runner or swimmer. Hell, they're practically the same in terms of training & conditioning. Don't believe me? Let the 1973 Belmont Stakes & Secretariat convince you:
Like the aforementioned unassisted triple play, a Triple Crown winner is rare. The three legs of the Triple Crown are designed to test a horse's ability. The races vary in distance with the Kentucky Derby being 1.25 miles, The Preakness a mile, & The Belmont a grueling mile and a half. The compact scheduling of the events also hinder a competitor's chances. Since 1875, there have been only eleven Triple Crown Champions. Yeah, just eleven. The last was Affirmed in 1978. The past decade has seen four horses come close (War Emblem, Funny Cide, Smarty Jones, & Big Brown each won the Derby & Preakness but lost the Belmont). If there's a rash of Triple Crown winners, maybe horse racing will emerge again in the American sports fan's landscape. It couldn't hurt, right?
When was the last time you saw a racehorse on the cover of Sports Illustrated? Keep it tight, Affirmed.
Like the aforementioned unassisted triple play, a Triple Crown winner is rare. The three legs of the Triple Crown are designed to test a horse's ability. The races vary in distance with the Kentucky Derby being 1.25 miles, The Preakness a mile, & The Belmont a grueling mile and a half. The compact scheduling of the events also hinder a competitor's chances. Since 1875, there have been only eleven Triple Crown Champions. Yeah, just eleven. The last was Affirmed in 1978. The past decade has seen four horses come close (War Emblem, Funny Cide, Smarty Jones, & Big Brown each won the Derby & Preakness but lost the Belmont). If there's a rash of Triple Crown winners, maybe horse racing will emerge again in the American sports fan's landscape. It couldn't hurt, right?
Triple Play
So I am on campus today for twelve hours with three distinct breaks. I know this is cheating, but I'm running with this three-motif & giving yins three blog posts involving the number after two. Naturally lets begin with baseball & the rarity of a triple play.
A triple play is of course the defensive team recording all three outs at the same time. There are tons things that need to happen to even set one up. There has to be at least two base runners & the defense has to be in proper position & the moon needs to have a blue tint & a chicken must be sacrificed in left field. I've watched baseball for ten years & have never seen one. Sure they happen, but I don't count seeing the highlights on SportsCenter. The odds of a triple play occurring in a inning are 1,400 to 1 (The Odds on Virtually Everything pg. 50).
Even more rare is a unassisted triple play. That's when one player gets all three outs without throwing the ball. One has to caught a line drive then tag a base & runner. Since 1909, there have been only fifteen unassisted triple plays. That's insane.
Here's a regular triple play:
Here's a unassisted triple play . . . damn MLB media blackout . . . http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=19995921&topic_id=&c_id=mlb&tcid=vpp_copy_19995921&v=3
A triple play is of course the defensive team recording all three outs at the same time. There are tons things that need to happen to even set one up. There has to be at least two base runners & the defense has to be in proper position & the moon needs to have a blue tint & a chicken must be sacrificed in left field. I've watched baseball for ten years & have never seen one. Sure they happen, but I don't count seeing the highlights on SportsCenter. The odds of a triple play occurring in a inning are 1,400 to 1 (The Odds on Virtually Everything pg. 50).
Even more rare is a unassisted triple play. That's when one player gets all three outs without throwing the ball. One has to caught a line drive then tag a base & runner. Since 1909, there have been only fifteen unassisted triple plays. That's insane.
Here's a regular triple play:
Here's a unassisted triple play . . . damn MLB media blackout . . . http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=19995921&topic_id=&c_id=mlb&tcid=vpp_copy_19995921&v=3
April 10, 2012
He Said What . . . ?!
Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen has never been mistaken with being 'tactful' or 'respectful' or 'smart' when it comes to opening his mouth. The fiery player turned skipper has offended every subculture, race, & lifestyle. Its in his nature. He's a blunt speaker with no shut down switch. But what he said two days ago to Time Magazine is irrehensable.
"I love Fidel Castro. I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last sixty years, but that fucker is still here."
Way to go, Ozzie. Do me a favor & look at that 'M' on your baseball cap. It stands for Miami. Out of the foreign population there, forty-five percent are from Cuba. Why so high a number? Because they fled the DICTATORSHIP of FIDEL CASTRO! Way to slap your prime fanbase in the face, Ozzie. A five-game suspension isn't enough here. Bud Selig needs to step in & pull a Roger Goodell & yank Ozzie out of the dugout for a year. Maybe then he'll start thinking before he speaks.
"I love Fidel Castro. I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last sixty years, but that fucker is still here."
Way to go, Ozzie. Do me a favor & look at that 'M' on your baseball cap. It stands for Miami. Out of the foreign population there, forty-five percent are from Cuba. Why so high a number? Because they fled the DICTATORSHIP of FIDEL CASTRO! Way to slap your prime fanbase in the face, Ozzie. A five-game suspension isn't enough here. Bud Selig needs to step in & pull a Roger Goodell & yank Ozzie out of the dugout for a year. Maybe then he'll start thinking before he speaks.
April 7, 2012
Playoff Beard
Around 6:30pm today, the Penguins defeated the Philadelphia Flyers 4-2. This was the end of the regular season. The playoffs for the Stanley Cup begin Thursday. A lot of guys & a majority of the Pens did something around 7:00pm that hopefully the bunch won't do again til mid-June.
They shaved, thus marking the beginning of the 'playoff beard'.
The playoff beard has been a tradition in the NHL since the New York Islanders of the 1980s began growing full, majestic beards during the post-season. Its a team unity thing that was carried over to the various fanbases. My buddy Ziggy had the best playoff beard when the Pens won the Cup in 2009. It wasn't as grand as Zdeno Chara's or Max Talbot's, but it was the clear winner amongst our group. This year, Ziggy will have some competition . . . me.
Years past, I have been forbidden to participate in this manly practice because Sheetz (my workplace) doesn't allow facial hair. However, there is a loophole. I can grow a mustache. So I am. A playoff mustache. Lindsey is pissed. I think she's the only person in the Steel City who's wishing for the Penguins to bow out early. I admit, a mustache isn't the most age appropriate thing but I feel compelled to join in the superstition. Sorry, babe. Let's Go Pens!
Mike Commodore (2006)
Max Talbot (2009)
Scott Niedermayer (2007)
They shaved, thus marking the beginning of the 'playoff beard'.
The playoff beard has been a tradition in the NHL since the New York Islanders of the 1980s began growing full, majestic beards during the post-season. Its a team unity thing that was carried over to the various fanbases. My buddy Ziggy had the best playoff beard when the Pens won the Cup in 2009. It wasn't as grand as Zdeno Chara's or Max Talbot's, but it was the clear winner amongst our group. This year, Ziggy will have some competition . . . me.
Years past, I have been forbidden to participate in this manly practice because Sheetz (my workplace) doesn't allow facial hair. However, there is a loophole. I can grow a mustache. So I am. A playoff mustache. Lindsey is pissed. I think she's the only person in the Steel City who's wishing for the Penguins to bow out early. I admit, a mustache isn't the most age appropriate thing but I feel compelled to join in the superstition. Sorry, babe. Let's Go Pens!
April 6, 2012
Fair Weather Fan
The Penguins have been running commercials this season about the diehard nature of fans. The ending tag line of these ads is, "If being a fan was easy, it wouldn't be great". I couldn't agree more.
Being a fan means sticking with your team on both ends of the valley. Sure, it's a blast when the team wins & the town loves them. Yeah, it completely sucks when they . . . suck. The thing of it all is, you still want to cheer for them either way. I've been a Pirates fan for ten years. That's in the middle of the team's historic nineteen year losing streak. I'm aware of this. I've seen management unload great players for nothing because 'the team cannot afford them' or 'it helps us in the long run'.
The pains of watching the Pirates for years was gawked at by London Tower veterans. Last year, hope shined through the clouds. The team was in first place . . . in fucking July! People were talking about the Buccos without a punchline. Crowds gathered at PNC Park & shirts where wore with pride. This phenom is called, 'fair weather fans'. The minute the Pirates started losing again, the fans disappeared. Its too easy to like a team when they're winning.
Look at the Penguins. Before they drafted Sidney Crosby they were terrible. The purest of shit. I know, I saw them play like shit for years. Steve McKeena was our power-play star. Mike Eastwood anchored the defense. You don't know these names? There's good reason for that . . . they were pathetic! The true fan knows these names, however. It is the question I ask people who swear their lifelong devotion to the Pens. If they know, they're good. If not, they're a phoney.
Lesson is kids, be supportive of your team not matter what. Be that guy who looks in the camera and says, "I've been waiting for this for thirty years" & mean it.
Being a fan means sticking with your team on both ends of the valley. Sure, it's a blast when the team wins & the town loves them. Yeah, it completely sucks when they . . . suck. The thing of it all is, you still want to cheer for them either way. I've been a Pirates fan for ten years. That's in the middle of the team's historic nineteen year losing streak. I'm aware of this. I've seen management unload great players for nothing because 'the team cannot afford them' or 'it helps us in the long run'.
The pains of watching the Pirates for years was gawked at by London Tower veterans. Last year, hope shined through the clouds. The team was in first place . . . in fucking July! People were talking about the Buccos without a punchline. Crowds gathered at PNC Park & shirts where wore with pride. This phenom is called, 'fair weather fans'. The minute the Pirates started losing again, the fans disappeared. Its too easy to like a team when they're winning.
Look at the Penguins. Before they drafted Sidney Crosby they were terrible. The purest of shit. I know, I saw them play like shit for years. Steve McKeena was our power-play star. Mike Eastwood anchored the defense. You don't know these names? There's good reason for that . . . they were pathetic! The true fan knows these names, however. It is the question I ask people who swear their lifelong devotion to the Pens. If they know, they're good. If not, they're a phoney.
Lesson is kids, be supportive of your team not matter what. Be that guy who looks in the camera and says, "I've been waiting for this for thirty years" & mean it.
April 4, 2012
Miami Semana: The Florida Panthers
I ripped the NHL representatives of South Florida in one of my last pieces but after going to a Panthers game last night, I have been enlightened some. First off, the Panthers don't play in the city of Miami or on the outskirts even. Their home, the BankAtlantic Center, is nearly an hour away in Sunrise, Florida. Sunrise is like a smaller scale Cranberry & the arena sticks out like a massive pimple. Parking to the game was FREE. Three tickets to the game were a total of $30. Its like the Panthers are screaming at us, "Please come to a game! Just show up!"
The fans of the Panthers can be divided into two categories: serious ones who bleed for the hockey team & mall-rats. Yins know what a mall-rat is, right? People (usually teenagers too early adults) who go to the mall for the purpose of chilling out. Not too buy anything. Just using the mall as a backdrop for a social gathering. These fans walk around the arena aimlessly, don't pay attention to the game, & chat endlessly about nothing.
The serious fans are lost in the shuffle. They are loud. Very loud. It was surprising too hear how loud they get when you think about how few of them there are. They also know the game & have passion about the Panthers. None, however, are from Miami. They are exiles from other cities who claim the Panthers as their own. I enjoyed talking to them. Sadly, there are not enough of these fans & the future of the struggling Panthers franchise will probably end in relocation. Sorry, guys.
The fans of the Panthers can be divided into two categories: serious ones who bleed for the hockey team & mall-rats. Yins know what a mall-rat is, right? People (usually teenagers too early adults) who go to the mall for the purpose of chilling out. Not too buy anything. Just using the mall as a backdrop for a social gathering. These fans walk around the arena aimlessly, don't pay attention to the game, & chat endlessly about nothing.
The serious fans are lost in the shuffle. They are loud. Very loud. It was surprising too hear how loud they get when you think about how few of them there are. They also know the game & have passion about the Panthers. None, however, are from Miami. They are exiles from other cities who claim the Panthers as their own. I enjoyed talking to them. Sadly, there are not enough of these fans & the future of the struggling Panthers franchise will probably end in relocation. Sorry, guys.
April 2, 2012
Miami Semana: Sun Life Stadium
The Miami Dolphins play at Sun Life Stadium & Wrestlemania 28 was there last night. The place is archaic. The concrete its made of is stained badly & the restrooms cannot support the masses of people needing to piss in them. The Marlins got a new stadium. I hope the Dolphins are next in line. This building needs torn down.
Plus its a eyesore. What do yins think?
March 31, 2012
Miami Semana: LeBron & the Heat
We've talked to three cab drivers, two bartenders, & a couple of folks off the street about the sports scene in Miami. The coastal city is one of the few lucky places to have each of the Big Four (hockey, football, basketball, & baseball) playing in town. I opened each conversation with a question about the hype surrounding the Marlins. No one cared or was overly thrilled with the baseball team's successful offseason pickups & potential. A lot of people were surprised to hear they had a hockey team (the Panthers). But who can blame a city with seventy degree days year round too give a shit about hockey? The Dolphins received a nod or two, but nothing special.
The Heat however . . . oh yeah, Miami's a basketball town.
Everyone, literally everyone, loves the Heat. One cab driver ranted about their chances for the title while one bartender raved about how much more mature LeBron James is compared to this time last year. Miami proves to me that if a team wins, people will love them. The Dolphins can't win. The Panthers are leading their division, but the NBA season is still going. The Marlins might usurp the Heat, but that's highly unlikely. LeBron & Dwayne Wade are kings here. The Heat are held up by the city. It's almost like the Steelers . . . almost.
The Heat however . . . oh yeah, Miami's a basketball town.
Everyone, literally everyone, loves the Heat. One cab driver ranted about their chances for the title while one bartender raved about how much more mature LeBron James is compared to this time last year. Miami proves to me that if a team wins, people will love them. The Dolphins can't win. The Panthers are leading their division, but the NBA season is still going. The Marlins might usurp the Heat, but that's highly unlikely. LeBron & Dwayne Wade are kings here. The Heat are held up by the city. It's almost like the Steelers . . . almost.
Miami Semana: The First Image
So I'm in Miami for a week (semana) with my fiancee Lindsey & our friend Ziggy for Wrestlemania 28. I'll give yins the scoop of the sports world in South Beach for the duration of our stay. It took nineteen straight hours (fourteen driven by yours truly), but we got here with spirits high & knees cramped. In the lobby of our hotel, there were three stacks of magazines free for the patrons on the desk. Two were about living & dining in Miami. The third was sports related & a complete epitome of culture down here:
Yup, that's major league outfielder Logan Morrison . . . dressed like the Little Mermaid's eccentric brother. The Miami Marlins have made waves this offseason by signing major players & dropping tons of flith. They also open a new stadium that's beautiful. Morrison isn't apart of the former (he was called-up last fall), but apparently he is a big deal down here. The Marlins are expected to do big things this season & fingers are pointing to Morrison to help make them happen. But this cover? It's . . . umm . . . what? We've seen this picture everywhere by the way. Yins guys like it?
Yup, that's major league outfielder Logan Morrison . . . dressed like the Little Mermaid's eccentric brother. The Miami Marlins have made waves this offseason by signing major players & dropping tons of flith. They also open a new stadium that's beautiful. Morrison isn't apart of the former (he was called-up last fall), but apparently he is a big deal down here. The Marlins are expected to do big things this season & fingers are pointing to Morrison to help make them happen. But this cover? It's . . . umm . . . what? We've seen this picture everywhere by the way. Yins guys like it?
March 28, 2012
Greatest Sports Name Ever
Let me introduce yins too . . .
Boob Darling. He was a center for the Green Bay Packers for five years (1927-1931) & helped the team win three championships. Its a shame Boob Darling didn't play eighty years sooner.
March 27, 2012
Chants
Fans loves chanting. Whether it be at a professional or collegiate or high school event, fans will chant. It may be an original creation or a old favorite that's both reliable & easy to remember. If you've been to a game, odds are you've participated in a chant. The leading scientists at the University of North Dakota say that some 67% of fans enjoy chanting at the game more than watching it. That's bullshit, but you get the point. Right? Do I need to make up another statistic? Maybe a nice chart depicting the good & bad ones will suffice . . .
Good Chants
"Naw Naw Naw Naw Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" - A classic. Nothing ushers a team out of the playoffs like this Kristina Debarge hit.
"Let's Go (insert team)" - Quick, easy, repetitive, somewhat uninspired, but a solid rallying cry.
"Ole Ole Ole Ole" - I know I ripped soccer in a earlier post, but I'll give them soccer fans their credit & say nothing gives me bigger goosebumps than hearing thousands of people sing this. It's awesome.
"(blank) sucks! (blank) sucks!" - The perfect way to irk a player or team that you passionately hate. Ask Kurt Angle about this one.
"J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!" or "P! I! T! T! Let's Go PITT!" - Very clever fans who thought to give each letter its moment. This only works with four letter teams though.
Bad Chants
Anything involving the refs - Odds are the refs made a good call & the home crowd is uneducated about the game. The ones I'm sick of hearing are "get off your knees ref, you're blowing the game" & the infamous "what are you blind?".
"USA! USA! USA" - I love the United States of America, but hate when we chant our country in a non-international format. I went to a WWE event where the crowd heckled the Canadian bad guy with this chant. The good guy was also Canadian. I even heard this at a Pens game when they played the Toronto Maple Leafs. Guess where Sidney Crosby & Marc-Andre Fleury are from.
The Wave - Technically not a chant but my disdain of it forces me to place it on this list. Its stupid. Plain & simple. And the 'ooooo' that accompanies it around the arena makes my mind bleed. The worst part is, there's always a group of fans whose solo purpose of coming to the game was to start this thing. They wait out the game for a lull in the action & try to get it going. A major distraction.
What do yins think? Have any additions?
Good Chants
"Naw Naw Naw Naw Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" - A classic. Nothing ushers a team out of the playoffs like this Kristina Debarge hit.
"Let's Go (insert team)" - Quick, easy, repetitive, somewhat uninspired, but a solid rallying cry.
"Ole Ole Ole Ole" - I know I ripped soccer in a earlier post, but I'll give them soccer fans their credit & say nothing gives me bigger goosebumps than hearing thousands of people sing this. It's awesome.
"(blank) sucks! (blank) sucks!" - The perfect way to irk a player or team that you passionately hate. Ask Kurt Angle about this one.
"J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets!" or "P! I! T! T! Let's Go PITT!" - Very clever fans who thought to give each letter its moment. This only works with four letter teams though.
Bad Chants
Anything involving the refs - Odds are the refs made a good call & the home crowd is uneducated about the game. The ones I'm sick of hearing are "get off your knees ref, you're blowing the game" & the infamous "what are you blind?".
"USA! USA! USA" - I love the United States of America, but hate when we chant our country in a non-international format. I went to a WWE event where the crowd heckled the Canadian bad guy with this chant. The good guy was also Canadian. I even heard this at a Pens game when they played the Toronto Maple Leafs. Guess where Sidney Crosby & Marc-Andre Fleury are from.
The Wave - Technically not a chant but my disdain of it forces me to place it on this list. Its stupid. Plain & simple. And the 'ooooo' that accompanies it around the arena makes my mind bleed. The worst part is, there's always a group of fans whose solo purpose of coming to the game was to start this thing. They wait out the game for a lull in the action & try to get it going. A major distraction.
What do yins think? Have any additions?
March 26, 2012
It's a Circus in New York & Tim Tebow is the Ringmaster
In about thirty minutes the New York Jets will have a news conference introducing their latest acquisition, quarterback Tim Tebow. Sorry, I said that wrong. I meant, backup quarterback Tim Tebow because the Jets have Mark Sanchez, who took them to two straight AFC Conference Championships. But this is New York & that wasn't enough to stop the Jets' higher brass from making eyes throws then free agent future Hall-of-Famer Peyton Manning. When Manning politely turned the jets down, Mark busted through the door crying foul. The Jets where caught trying to take another girl to prom & did what any guy would do in the situation; they showered Mark with gifts, i.e. a three year $20 million contract extension.
"You're our guy," was the message. The Jets suffer from a dysfunctional locker room & Mark suffers from poor leadership. Despite his achievements on the field, his teammates are at best, tolerate of the guy. The extension was also designed to eliminate that. So what does trading two fourth round draft picks for Tim Tebow say?
Background on Tebow. If you meet the guy for five minutes you'll; A) like him. B) know he's a diehard, hardcore Christian. & C) might trip over the charisma oozing out of him. The guy the shit in college (a good thing). A legend in Florida. When then Denver Broncos coach Josh McDaniels drafted Tebow in 2010, he was to be the answer (McDaniels would only start Tebowmania because he was fired later that year). Last year, Tebow exploded on the scene as he was named the team's starter. He played horrible. He completed less than forty-five percent of his passes. He ran more than he throw. Coach John Fox hated his play. Head of Football Operations John Elway did too, & he should know a thing or two about quarterback play . . . being that his face in on the QB Mt. Rushmore wearing a Broncos helmet.
Tebow won & won & won. That's the thing about Tim Tebow. He'll win no matter what is said or written about him. Its what makes him a great leader. The fans love him for it. Elway & Fox had to grind praise out of clenched teeth. The Broncos went to the playoffs for the first time in five years. Tebow was the answer.
Remember Peyton Manning? Remember how he turned down the Jets? Guess where he went . . . hell yeah, Denver. John Elway couldn't trade Tebow faster. Now he had a true quarterback. A real quarterback. He kicked Tebow out the door faster than the ink dried on Manning's signature.
The Jets inherit Tebowmania. Sanchez hasn't said a word. The fans already view Tebow as the starter. He's the backup. The circus is here.
"You're our guy," was the message. The Jets suffer from a dysfunctional locker room & Mark suffers from poor leadership. Despite his achievements on the field, his teammates are at best, tolerate of the guy. The extension was also designed to eliminate that. So what does trading two fourth round draft picks for Tim Tebow say?
Background on Tebow. If you meet the guy for five minutes you'll; A) like him. B) know he's a diehard, hardcore Christian. & C) might trip over the charisma oozing out of him. The guy the shit in college (a good thing). A legend in Florida. When then Denver Broncos coach Josh McDaniels drafted Tebow in 2010, he was to be the answer (McDaniels would only start Tebowmania because he was fired later that year). Last year, Tebow exploded on the scene as he was named the team's starter. He played horrible. He completed less than forty-five percent of his passes. He ran more than he throw. Coach John Fox hated his play. Head of Football Operations John Elway did too, & he should know a thing or two about quarterback play . . . being that his face in on the QB Mt. Rushmore wearing a Broncos helmet.
Tebow won & won & won. That's the thing about Tim Tebow. He'll win no matter what is said or written about him. Its what makes him a great leader. The fans love him for it. Elway & Fox had to grind praise out of clenched teeth. The Broncos went to the playoffs for the first time in five years. Tebow was the answer.
Remember Peyton Manning? Remember how he turned down the Jets? Guess where he went . . . hell yeah, Denver. John Elway couldn't trade Tebow faster. Now he had a true quarterback. A real quarterback. He kicked Tebow out the door faster than the ink dried on Manning's signature.
The Jets inherit Tebowmania. Sanchez hasn't said a word. The fans already view Tebow as the starter. He's the backup. The circus is here.
March 24, 2012
Soccer
For the past year, I've noticed something odd about SportsCenter. Usually, the hour long program is filled with year-round news about the NFL & periodically slides in some bullet-points concerning the rest of the sporting world. But like I said, I smelt the something rotting in Denmark. Soccer began making brief appearances. This was strange because the World Cup was over . . . for two years. The announcers casually spoke of Manchester United & Chelsea like they where the Dallas Cowboys or Atlanta Braves. Hell, some even had above passing knowledge of the players. It takes skill to memorize rosters. Did I mention the World Cup was over? The soccer segments got longer as the baseball & hockey (which barely makes it on the damn show as it is) got shorter. Now, soccer makes regular appearances. What gives?
I'm not a complete moron. I realize soccer is king in countries that have been waging wars on each other through several metallic-themed ages, but it was barely a blimp on the USA's radar. Every kid plays soccer for a year, maybe two, in their developmental phase, but its usually replaced by more American sports like baseball & football & hunting or whatever. Point is, not a ton of people like soccer over here. So why is ESPN trying to brainwash us?
And why is it working! I hear customers at Sheetz talk about match-ups over in jolly-old England. I see shirts for different clubs & my cousins have been playing fake-football for years. ESPN shows a game thrice a week & they're getting good ratings & making money off . . . oh.
Mystery solved.
I applaud ESPN for finding a way to make even more revenue than they already rake it. They've tapped into a market that was always there. They did what the NFL is trying to do overseas and MLB is struggling to do with our Neighbors to the North. It hasn't worked on me, however. I'm sticking to my ignorant guns. So far.
I'm not a complete moron. I realize soccer is king in countries that have been waging wars on each other through several metallic-themed ages, but it was barely a blimp on the USA's radar. Every kid plays soccer for a year, maybe two, in their developmental phase, but its usually replaced by more American sports like baseball & football & hunting or whatever. Point is, not a ton of people like soccer over here. So why is ESPN trying to brainwash us?
And why is it working! I hear customers at Sheetz talk about match-ups over in jolly-old England. I see shirts for different clubs & my cousins have been playing fake-football for years. ESPN shows a game thrice a week & they're getting good ratings & making money off . . . oh.
Mystery solved.
I applaud ESPN for finding a way to make even more revenue than they already rake it. They've tapped into a market that was always there. They did what the NFL is trying to do overseas and MLB is struggling to do with our Neighbors to the North. It hasn't worked on me, however. I'm sticking to my ignorant guns. So far.
March 22, 2012
Late Night Boxing
Insomnia? I encourage ya turn on Showtime & watch boxing. I see why the sport is suffering . . . the damn product is boring. The two guys on now have done more hugging than punching. The announcers inform that this is called 'tying up'. I see no use of this in a fight. I'm using this strategy the next time I'm in a pickle. Who knows, our embrace might defuse the situation & we'll go have a beer together. Talk about the good days & play darts. Is this what the boxers are trying to accomplish? They refuse to hit each other so I'm gonna say yeah. Boxing: the sport where hugs have more power than fists.
I sleep now.
I sleep now.
March 20, 2012
Hockey . . . WWE-Style
Last Night, the New Jersey Devils & New York Rangers played their sixth (& final) game of the season together. They're division rivals & completely hate each other. So when Rangers coach John Tortorella (a real gem himself) saw Devils coach Peter DeBoer's obviously antagonizing lineup, he responded by having a career goon defenseman to take the opening faceoff. The bad blood is there and the shot was fired across the bow. They went fucking all-out:
The results of the brawl; Stu Bickel (NYR) beat Ryan Carter (NJD, nasty cut bro) - Michael Rupp (NYR) defeated Eric Boulton - Brandon Prust (NYR) & Cam Janssen (NJD) fought to a draw. Side note, the Rangers won the game 4-2. This is why hockey is awesome & why so people don't respect it. What other sport can this happen in & be called normal? Do the Ravens & Steelers do this (shit that'd be great!)? Hockey rules, but not to the overwhelming public. Still, this doesn't occur regularly & the ratings are still there. Let's chalk this up to 'boys will be boys', huh?
The results of the brawl; Stu Bickel (NYR) beat Ryan Carter (NJD, nasty cut bro) - Michael Rupp (NYR) defeated Eric Boulton - Brandon Prust (NYR) & Cam Janssen (NJD) fought to a draw. Side note, the Rangers won the game 4-2. This is why hockey is awesome & why so people don't respect it. What other sport can this happen in & be called normal? Do the Ravens & Steelers do this (shit that'd be great!)? Hockey rules, but not to the overwhelming public. Still, this doesn't occur regularly & the ratings are still there. Let's chalk this up to 'boys will be boys', huh?
Farewell, Smile
Hines Ward decided to stay a Steeler. Today, the franchise's most productive wide receiver retired from the NFL after fourteen seasons. His career numbers of 1,000 receptions, 12,083 receiving yards, & 85 touchdowns ranks him first on the Steelers' all-time list for wide-outs (which includes Hall-of-Famers John Stallworth & Lynn Swann). Ward was true to his word & finished his football playing days as a Steeler, despite ownership releasing him last month.
Ironically, Ward will be remembered more for his smile & blocking ability than his catching. He paved the way (literally) for the Steelers to have a dominant running for most of the time he was here. His brave down-field blocks were selfless & devastating. Just ask Keith Rivers:
Still, the thing that really stood out for Hines (& my Grandmother loves this about him) was his smile. After a catch or penalty or being on the bad end of a blindside hit, the camera would do a close-up on Ward & he'd be grinning. It was a relief to see a professional player enjoying playing so much. That's what I'll miss most . . .
Hines Ward wasn't the perfect man. He was voted 'Dirtiest Player in the NFL' twice, had a DUI & held out of training camp over money. But really, what's a hero without scars? That's what makes us cheer for them. Ward was a diehard Steeler, & today's announcement proves that. He will be missed. Goodbye, Mr. Ward
Ironically, Ward will be remembered more for his smile & blocking ability than his catching. He paved the way (literally) for the Steelers to have a dominant running for most of the time he was here. His brave down-field blocks were selfless & devastating. Just ask Keith Rivers:
Still, the thing that really stood out for Hines (& my Grandmother loves this about him) was his smile. After a catch or penalty or being on the bad end of a blindside hit, the camera would do a close-up on Ward & he'd be grinning. It was a relief to see a professional player enjoying playing so much. That's what I'll miss most . . .
March 18, 2012
Fuck March Maddness
Why did I even do a bracket this year? The only college games I watched were Pitt's & they're losing ways have effectively rubbed off on me. My poor bracket . . . so much red ink . . . it looks like the cleanup after Gettysburg.
I lost seven of my Sweet Sixteen which turns into five of my Elite Eight which transforms into two of my Final Four. A fifteen seed beating a second seed hasn't happened since 2001 & sumbitch if it doesn't occur twice this year. Norfolk State hurt me but Lehigh pissed down my throat (I had Duke in the Final Four). No doubt some waitress in Topeka has a better bracket than me. Wait . . . everyone has a better bracket than me! I hate basketball!
I lost seven of my Sweet Sixteen which turns into five of my Elite Eight which transforms into two of my Final Four. A fifteen seed beating a second seed hasn't happened since 2001 & sumbitch if it doesn't occur twice this year. Norfolk State hurt me but Lehigh pissed down my throat (I had Duke in the Final Four). No doubt some waitress in Topeka has a better bracket than me. Wait . . . everyone has a better bracket than me! I hate basketball!
March 15, 2012
It Begins! The Maddness Begins!
I was going to write about this subject two days ago, but the breaking news of Sid the Kid's return pushed this back a tad.
March Maddness has begun! The third month of the year ushers in the NCAA's sixty-eight team basketball tournament & for a three week period, everyone's a college B-Ball fan. Brackets get filled out by experts & idoits alike with their chances being close to equal. Every office building, dormatory, high school, & prison has that one person who relishes this day. They're the one's who print out the brackets, collect the money, & beg all their coworkers to place their ten dollars in the pot. That's the beautiful part of March Maddness; anyone can win. My father said a secretary in his building won one year by picking what team came first in alphabet. I lost in my senior year of high school to a girl who picked the matchups based on the more appealing color scheme. It's nuts! Gloriously nuts!
Have yins filled out your brackets? Who do yins have winning it all?
March Maddness has begun! The third month of the year ushers in the NCAA's sixty-eight team basketball tournament & for a three week period, everyone's a college B-Ball fan. Brackets get filled out by experts & idoits alike with their chances being close to equal. Every office building, dormatory, high school, & prison has that one person who relishes this day. They're the one's who print out the brackets, collect the money, & beg all their coworkers to place their ten dollars in the pot. That's the beautiful part of March Maddness; anyone can win. My father said a secretary in his building won one year by picking what team came first in alphabet. I lost in my senior year of high school to a girl who picked the matchups based on the more appealing color scheme. It's nuts! Gloriously nuts!
Have yins filled out your brackets? Who do yins have winning it all?
March 14, 2012
Past & Present Obsessions
This is a stretch. A big stretch. Like doing a complete split at first-base to snag the third-baseman's horrible throw.
Present - NASCAR
Past - The Gilmore Girls
I loved that show. Like clockwork, I would turn on ABC Family at five o'clock and dive into my softer side for an hour. It became such a routine that my dogs would get exicted when the theme song played as they knew it was time for dinner. Luke was my favorite character followed closely by Richard & Jackson. My hatred for Paris still burns my heart. I felt the writers ruined Lorelia's character towards the end & Rory's best boyfriend was Jess. Hell, my first day of spring break was spent with a friend watching our favorite episodes on her complete DVD collection.
How does NASCAR relate to a episodic click-flick? My mind feels like a blown engine coughing up oil and smoke onto the track just thinking about connections. I don't know . . . maybe the fast-paced dialogue of Lorelia & Rory matches the near 200mph speeds the drivers reach? The natural drama of a sporting event coincides with the drama of family & relationships? Both make me laugh. Both entertain me. Maybe they're a package deal? Each one speaks to two separate sides of my idiotic brain, hence making me a well-rounded individual.
Naw!
Present - NASCAR
Past - The Gilmore Girls
I loved that show. Like clockwork, I would turn on ABC Family at five o'clock and dive into my softer side for an hour. It became such a routine that my dogs would get exicted when the theme song played as they knew it was time for dinner. Luke was my favorite character followed closely by Richard & Jackson. My hatred for Paris still burns my heart. I felt the writers ruined Lorelia's character towards the end & Rory's best boyfriend was Jess. Hell, my first day of spring break was spent with a friend watching our favorite episodes on her complete DVD collection.
How does NASCAR relate to a episodic click-flick? My mind feels like a blown engine coughing up oil and smoke onto the track just thinking about connections. I don't know . . . maybe the fast-paced dialogue of Lorelia & Rory matches the near 200mph speeds the drivers reach? The natural drama of a sporting event coincides with the drama of family & relationships? Both make me laugh. Both entertain me. Maybe they're a package deal? Each one speaks to two separate sides of my idiotic brain, hence making me a well-rounded individual.
Naw!
March 13, 2012
He's Baaaaaaccckkk!
This post will be short, simple, sweet, & might make the already stout Pittsburgh Penguins even better (which is saying a SHIT ton because they've won nine straight & are catching the powerhouse New York Rangers for the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference).
This guy . . .
From Nova Scotia . . . number #87 . . . SIDNEY CROSBY IS BACK!!!!!!! He'll play Thursday against the formerly mentioned Rangers on Thursday. This is he's second comeback this year and hopefully the last in a long while. Please, Hockey Gods, please.
This guy . . .
From Nova Scotia . . . number #87 . . . SIDNEY CROSBY IS BACK!!!!!!! He'll play Thursday against the formerly mentioned Rangers on Thursday. This is he's second comeback this year and hopefully the last in a long while. Please, Hockey Gods, please.
March 12, 2012
Fantasy Sports
There is nothing more staisfying for a diehard, hardcore sports fan than to mock run their own team. This is the niche for fantasy sports of every kind. Football is the undisputed champion of fantasy playership, but baseball is also extremely popular. Me, I play everything. My favorites are hockey and baseball and I'd like to think I do well (won five championships, but who's bragging? Go on, don't act like you're not impressed). But for how much joy and vindication fantasy sports can provide, it also serves humble pie and crow by the metric-ton. For example, my basketball team this year. I have a wonderful blend of veterns and young guns. Their stats last year made me confident that I'd corner the market on assits and rebounds . . . but I completely suck. This team completely sucks. No matter what waiver wire pickup I make or roster changes I perform, I cannot win this year. I'm currently sixth out of eight teams. And that's why I play, too assure myself that I don't know as much as I think. Do you guys have moments like that?
March 10, 2012
Basketball
I wish more channels played the NHL. I am sitting here watching the Chicago Bulls play the Orlando Magic and for the first time in a while, I am bored watching a professional game. I really wish these guys would transform into hockey players or gladiators or something other than basketball players. Does this though make me a racist? Or does that one? Or this one? Damn. I don't think I'm a fan of basketball . . . you?
March 7, 2012
A Era Ends
Today, Peyton Manning was released by the Indianapolis Colts after fourteen stellar seasons. Two weeks ago, the Steelers let Hines Ward go after twelve special years. A decade ago, teams rarely waved goodbye to players that established themselves so fully with the team, brand, & organization. Twenty years ago this never happened. As sad as it is to admit, a era has died . . . replaced by a business associated one. The ironic thing is, the former paved the way for the latter.
Look at Peyton's case. You as long as I've watched football, Peyton Manning took the snaps for the Colts. He made them a powerhouse & constant threat for championships (winning one in 2007, Indy's first since 1970). So the team's higher-ups rewarded him for his loyalty, in the form a mega contract (five years $90 million dollars). Then he got hurt, baldy hurt. He missed the entire season last year & the Colts finished 2-14. They declared that they were rebuilding & needed Peyton's money to do so. That was why he was released. Money also played a factor in Hines being let go, for the Steelers have no cap-space room & value signing Mike Wallace over Ward. These are business decisions. This is the new NFL.
Look at Peyton's case. You as long as I've watched football, Peyton Manning took the snaps for the Colts. He made them a powerhouse & constant threat for championships (winning one in 2007, Indy's first since 1970). So the team's higher-ups rewarded him for his loyalty, in the form a mega contract (five years $90 million dollars). Then he got hurt, baldy hurt. He missed the entire season last year & the Colts finished 2-14. They declared that they were rebuilding & needed Peyton's money to do so. That was why he was released. Money also played a factor in Hines being let go, for the Steelers have no cap-space room & value signing Mike Wallace over Ward. These are business decisions. This is the new NFL.
March 6, 2012
The National Anthem
It isn't a sporting event until I hear some singer or musical instrument start belting out the first lines of the Star Spangled Banner. Hearing it on television is nice, but my engine really revs when I'm sitting in the stands of PNC Park with my hat in my hand over my heart. Nothing sets the tone for a game better than the National Anthem. Hell, I even like O'Canada. I think I might have it played before my wedding . . .
The flip side of the coin is when the SSB is butchered, a cocktail of hilarious & tragic spirits. However, this doesn't happen as often as people think. Few times the anthem is awesome & most times it is average. But when it is slaughtered . . . it's usually funny. The NFL has cornered the market on fucked up anthems (Steve Taylor & Christina Aguilera). Going back to our Neighbors in the North, their anthem sounds weird when it is sung in Quebec & they splice in French lyrics. Regardless of how well a anthem is sung or played, it stills spurs my game-face on. What do you think? You like the anthem?
The flip side of the coin is when the SSB is butchered, a cocktail of hilarious & tragic spirits. However, this doesn't happen as often as people think. Few times the anthem is awesome & most times it is average. But when it is slaughtered . . . it's usually funny. The NFL has cornered the market on fucked up anthems (Steve Taylor & Christina Aguilera). Going back to our Neighbors in the North, their anthem sounds weird when it is sung in Quebec & they splice in French lyrics. Regardless of how well a anthem is sung or played, it stills spurs my game-face on. What do you think? You like the anthem?
March 3, 2012
He Said What . . . ?!
I nominate this guy for Douche-Bag of the Year. I know the year is young, but he has to be a front runner. Is it so bad that Danica wants to distance herself from a stereotype? What's wrong with that asshole? And that paper flop at the end of his segment . . . completes his application form for DBOY. I'm shocked the anchorwoman didn't this to that ass-clown (she's the one wearing the black shirt):
I think I might if I ever meet this womanizing jagoff. Sorry for all the cursing.
March 2, 2012
Happy Anniversary, Wilt Chamberlain
Fifty years ago today, in Hershey Pennsylvania, Philadelphia Warriors center Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a NBA basketball game. Do I have to tell you that's a record? The weird thing is there isn't any video or photos of from that night. Just a post-game snapshot I included below.Wilt's 1962 outing against the New York Knicks is one of those legendary sporting milestones that will probably never be broken. Kobe Bryant came close in 2007 when he burned the Tornato Raptors for 81 points, but I think Wilt's record is safe . . . for at least another fifty years. The player that breaks this record isn't born yet. I say good luck to them.
SportsCenter
My day starts like this: Wake up, stretch, piss, dress, turn on SportsCenter, eat cereal, repeat next morning.
I know I should turn on the news & be wise to the vents which shape the world. I get that, but sadly I value who the Celtics are trying to trade over who won the Michigan Primary. I blame SportsCenter for this. The hour long show is easily more interesting & enjoyable to watch. Plus, Granola is tastier with it on. If the news wants to attract more viewers, I say they copy the format & personality of ESPN's flagship program. Or maybe I'm idiot. No, I know I'm a idiot.
I know I should turn on the news & be wise to the vents which shape the world. I get that, but sadly I value who the Celtics are trying to trade over who won the Michigan Primary. I blame SportsCenter for this. The hour long show is easily more interesting & enjoyable to watch. Plus, Granola is tastier with it on. If the news wants to attract more viewers, I say they copy the format & personality of ESPN's flagship program. Or maybe I'm idiot. No, I know I'm a idiot.
February 29, 2012
Madden
Yesterday I played Madden '12 on the Xbox with my buddy, Ziggy. This isn't the first time & certainly wouldn't be the last, but I yesterday I learned something about myself that those other times kept from me. I suck. I suck hard at Madden. I throw seven interceptions and lost 30-24, I don't think it was that close. When did I become a bad Madden player? I used to play two-three games a day after school on my archaic Playstation. I was pretty good then. The computer was sent to All-Madden. I beat the computer plenty. I beat my friends plenty, too. When did the switch turn? Ziggy's got my number. Fact. I think I defeated him once . . . this year. Maybe, we should go back to playing Mortal Kombat . . . where's he's crushed me . . . I hate video games.
February 28, 2012
NASCAR Week! What a First Chapter
The 54th edition of the Daytona 500 seems like it was written by Homer & directed by Peter Jackson. It was a true odyssey, both in time & action. It all began with the Sunday rain delay that carried over to Monday afternoon. The race's start time was moved twice, but I heard no one complain about dropping the green flag at prime time. When the cars did run, the racing was intense. Hell, it took only two laps for a multi-car wreck to happen. A crash that took out the Villain (Kurt Busch), the Young Gun (Trevor Bayne), old 5-Time (Jimmie Johnson), & the Sensation (Danica Patrick). Then throw into the crazy pot Juan Pablo Montoya's bizarre accident involving a jet dryer that engendered a wild fire on turn three. Absolute insanity! Does anyone remember Matt Kenseth winning the thing? This is why I watch racing! For the things you never think will happen. Thank you NASCAR for three days of craziness.
February 27, 2012
NASCAR Week! Rain Delay
One of the worst things about watching racing is the threat of rain. If it rains, your plans after the race are shot. Rain parks the cars, slicks the track to un-drivable conditions, & the process to dry the asphalt surface takes hours. That's what happened Sunday at Daytona, Florida. I watched four hours of driver interviews (which all sound the same after the fifteenth one) & analysts discussing things like which driver has the best golf game. A friend asked me how the analysts could keep talking for so long & I couldn't answer her. Rain is racing is hell. It does teach you patience, but doesn't let you see a field of race cars thunder down the backstretch. I think I'd rather have the latter.
February 21, 2012
NASCAR Week! Dale Jr.
Ask ten NASCAR fans whom their favorite driver is. I bet you a sack of donuts that at least eight of them say Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Dale Jr is, of course, the son of the legendary Dale Earnhardt & NASCAR's meal ticket. He has won the Most Popular Driver of the Year Award nine straight years (despite not winning a race in five years) & his merchendise is always a top seller. If you ever go to a NASCAR track, you'll witness a ocean of mixed red number 8s & blue/green number 88s (depending on how old & stubborn the fan is). The flagpoles in the infield will feature the Stars & Strips above a image of Dale Jr's car. Go to Talladega & watch the fans as he marches toward the front. When he takes the leads . . . your ears will bled. Dale Jr was Linsanity before Jeremy played college ball.
The reason for this? For all the love from NASCAR Country? The easy answer is his last name. When Dale's dad died in 2001, many of his fans turned into Jr. fans. That's a pill which is a little too easy for me to swallow. I think its is good ol'e boy personaility. He mutters & mumbles during interviews. He still hangs out with his friends from high school. He's level headed & easy going, like the leading man in a country song. Dale Jr is massive in the racing universe. Hell, just watch the Dyatona 500 & see for yourselves.
Dale Jr is, of course, the son of the legendary Dale Earnhardt & NASCAR's meal ticket. He has won the Most Popular Driver of the Year Award nine straight years (despite not winning a race in five years) & his merchendise is always a top seller. If you ever go to a NASCAR track, you'll witness a ocean of mixed red number 8s & blue/green number 88s (depending on how old & stubborn the fan is). The flagpoles in the infield will feature the Stars & Strips above a image of Dale Jr's car. Go to Talladega & watch the fans as he marches toward the front. When he takes the leads . . . your ears will bled. Dale Jr was Linsanity before Jeremy played college ball.
The reason for this? For all the love from NASCAR Country? The easy answer is his last name. When Dale's dad died in 2001, many of his fans turned into Jr. fans. That's a pill which is a little too easy for me to swallow. I think its is good ol'e boy personaility. He mutters & mumbles during interviews. He still hangs out with his friends from high school. He's level headed & easy going, like the leading man in a country song. Dale Jr is massive in the racing universe. Hell, just watch the Dyatona 500 & see for yourselves.
February 20, 2012
NASCAR Week! Who Watches Racing?
*sniff sniff* Can you smell it? Can you smell that awesome mixture of burnt rubber, BBQ sauce, gas fumes, smoke, & cheap beer? Can you hear the thunderous roar of forty-three engines, the snap of wind breaking, & thousands of fans chanting 'Junior, Junior, Junior!'? Can you feel it?
I can. It's time for the Daytona 500. It's time for NASCAR.
In honor of NASCAR season kicking off this Sunday with the prestigious 'Great American Race', I'll have themed stock car racing topics til Friday. A ton of yins will not like this, but maybe we can open your minds to racing, huh? NASCAR has the most diverse fan base of any sporting league. I've been to several tracks & have seen all demographics; men, women, whites, blacks, Hispanics, business people, rednecks (admittedly predominately), & once (at Richmond) a gay couple who held hands the entire four hundred laps (no one bothered them). At work (Sheetz), the regulars who know of my fandom share theirs with me. When I see them on Tuesday, we have a flash conservation about what happened Sunday.
NASCAR is for everybody . . . maybe even you. Why not give it a chance?
I can. It's time for the Daytona 500. It's time for NASCAR.
In honor of NASCAR season kicking off this Sunday with the prestigious 'Great American Race', I'll have themed stock car racing topics til Friday. A ton of yins will not like this, but maybe we can open your minds to racing, huh? NASCAR has the most diverse fan base of any sporting league. I've been to several tracks & have seen all demographics; men, women, whites, blacks, Hispanics, business people, rednecks (admittedly predominately), & once (at Richmond) a gay couple who held hands the entire four hundred laps (no one bothered them). At work (Sheetz), the regulars who know of my fandom share theirs with me. When I see them on Tuesday, we have a flash conservation about what happened Sunday.
NASCAR is for everybody . . . maybe even you. Why not give it a chance?
February 15, 2012
Invented Word
What with Jeremy Yin on the scene, the sports world has seen a slew of new words. I wouldn't take the easy way out & make up another Lin-ism . . . Lindventurous! Ha!
Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude
A mouthful, yes, but it can be applied to any facet of watching or playing sports. You see, us sports fans have some of the filthiest mouths of anyone. Truckers envy us. Lindsey yells at me for swearing so much at the television. She claims our children will not be allowed to be with me while there's a game on. So 'motherfuckdamnitallhelldude' fits all our favorites into one, easy to use word.
"The Pirates traded McCutchen for a bag of peanuts & tickets to Spider-Man on Broadway? Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude!"
"Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude! I sliced left & got it in the sand trap."
"She's a Flyers fan? Motherfuckdamnitallhelldude, she would have been perfect!"
Its stupid, I know. But wait until it catches on . . .
Linsane in the Membrane
Have any of yins heard of Jeremy Yin?
No?
Maybe a picture will help,
Still no? How?
He's everywhere. Since becoming the starting point guard of the New York Knicks, the Chinese-American player has racked up 136 points in five games. That's a record. A big record. So naturally people are buzzed. Its a recipe of his nationality, skill, location, and franchise. He's good and the story is great (at one point last week, he didn't have a soild contract and was sleepong on a teammate's couch), but give me a break with the Lin coverage. ESPN's Sportcenter runs for an hour and (no joke) thrity-three minutes of the show was about Lin. That's linlogical. Plus, there's a ton of words being altered to have a 'lin' in them. Like linsanity, Linvinicible, Lindrella, Super Lintendo, & (my favorite) Mr. Lincredible.
I get that its a big story & something like this doesn't happen often, but lets have put a cap on his coverage. I mean, the Red Wings won twenty-one straight home games (also a record) & Hines Ward might not be a Steeler anymore. Can we shorten Lin's airtime down to . . . um . . . like fifteen, twenty minutes? Please?
No?
Maybe a picture will help,
Still no? How?
He's everywhere. Since becoming the starting point guard of the New York Knicks, the Chinese-American player has racked up 136 points in five games. That's a record. A big record. So naturally people are buzzed. Its a recipe of his nationality, skill, location, and franchise. He's good and the story is great (at one point last week, he didn't have a soild contract and was sleepong on a teammate's couch), but give me a break with the Lin coverage. ESPN's Sportcenter runs for an hour and (no joke) thrity-three minutes of the show was about Lin. That's linlogical. Plus, there's a ton of words being altered to have a 'lin' in them. Like linsanity, Linvinicible, Lindrella, Super Lintendo, & (my favorite) Mr. Lincredible.
I get that its a big story & something like this doesn't happen often, but lets have put a cap on his coverage. I mean, the Red Wings won twenty-one straight home games (also a record) & Hines Ward might not be a Steeler anymore. Can we shorten Lin's airtime down to . . . um . . . like fifteen, twenty minutes? Please?
February 13, 2012
The Longest Sunday
Yesterday was Sunday, my favorite day of the week. Its not because of church or work or diners at Grandma's. Not for the thickest newspaper of the week or the smell of biscuits & honey. Sunday is a the day were I can relax, watch a sporting event, & let the week that was disappear from my memory. So this last Sunday, with no games on til the Pens played at seven, was . . . long. The afternoon dragged on & the two hours before puck-drop sent me into a stupor which I am still recovering from. The weeks between the Super Bowl & Daytona 500 are the toughest to get through. An occasional hockey game helps out, but the fact is . . . I'm walking through a desert. Can't wait to get on the other side.
February 9, 2012
Personal Note
I realized that some of my posts (the last one especially) might paint me as a alcoholic. That may be, but I don't think so. For whatever reason, the idea of enjoying a sporting event with a long-neck has been woven into my 'man'-fabric. I asked Lindsey if she thinks I should attend a AA meeting or two. She said I treat beer in the same fashion as one of my heroes: Homer Simpson.
She says this clip is 'completely me':
What's your opinion? About beer & sports that is.
She says this clip is 'completely me':
What's your opinion? About beer & sports that is.
February 8, 2012
Pair Up: Beers to Sports
Food & alcohol . . . ah! They compliment each other in the same harmony as cats & old, lonely people. A good chardonnay goes well with poultry. A stiff whiskey & savory ribs match up nicely. Certain things & boozes are connected to the point of cliche. Champagne & love making. Rum & pirates. Punch & holiday parties. Thunderbird & homeless people. And, of course, beer & sports.
That's not enough for me. There are charts about wine & food, like a hockey coach making the best lines. I see a need for the same in the sports world: what beers go best with different sports. I will go by brand & not by style because I am not that smart & neither are most sports fans. Yes, there are exceptions, but save all questions for after the post.
Baseball & Yuengling Lager - This is a match of historical American traditions. The first baseball game was played in 1846 in Hoboken, New Jersey. The first Yuengling brewery was opened in 1829. The two grew up together, learned from their mistakes together, & flourished together. Hell, their dear old friends practically.
Football & Budweiser - There isn't anything too challenging about the gridiron. Almost everyone knows the details of football over any other sport. It is a basic thing that is loved by many. Kinda like the St. Louis brewery's beer flavored water. I hate Budweiser, but like the NFL, it's everywhere. You cannot escape it. Think about how many beer commericals aired during the Super Bowl. Now think of what beer they where advising . . .
Hockey & Moloson - They're both relatively unknown & Canadian. Hockey seems to be the red-haired step-child of American sports, both are ignored & left alone to do whatever they please. The NHL progressively reforms itself (from rules to realignment to All-Star Game formant) more than other top leagues, but ESPN & other sports media outlets don't recognize their efforts (except you NBC, but it is wise to promote your own programming, right?). Moloson is a quality import beer that is overshadowed by others (Mexican beer & Labatt Blue). These two are the tastiness pair of this list.
Basketball & any light beer - This goes against my beer-loving-masculine self so hard! I see no value & purpose of light beer. If you are counting calories . . . then don't drink beer! 'Diet' & 'beer' don't belong in the same sentence. Any self-respecting person will tell you that (men especially!). Alas, with such a fast-paced game that requires you to skillfully watch the orange globe, light beer finds itself a niche.
Your welcome. Suggestions?
That's not enough for me. There are charts about wine & food, like a hockey coach making the best lines. I see a need for the same in the sports world: what beers go best with different sports. I will go by brand & not by style because I am not that smart & neither are most sports fans. Yes, there are exceptions, but save all questions for after the post.
Baseball & Yuengling Lager - This is a match of historical American traditions. The first baseball game was played in 1846 in Hoboken, New Jersey. The first Yuengling brewery was opened in 1829. The two grew up together, learned from their mistakes together, & flourished together. Hell, their dear old friends practically.
Football & Budweiser - There isn't anything too challenging about the gridiron. Almost everyone knows the details of football over any other sport. It is a basic thing that is loved by many. Kinda like the St. Louis brewery's beer flavored water. I hate Budweiser, but like the NFL, it's everywhere. You cannot escape it. Think about how many beer commericals aired during the Super Bowl. Now think of what beer they where advising . . .
Hockey & Moloson - They're both relatively unknown & Canadian. Hockey seems to be the red-haired step-child of American sports, both are ignored & left alone to do whatever they please. The NHL progressively reforms itself (from rules to realignment to All-Star Game formant) more than other top leagues, but ESPN & other sports media outlets don't recognize their efforts (except you NBC, but it is wise to promote your own programming, right?). Moloson is a quality import beer that is overshadowed by others (Mexican beer & Labatt Blue). These two are the tastiness pair of this list.
Basketball & any light beer - This goes against my beer-loving-masculine self so hard! I see no value & purpose of light beer. If you are counting calories . . . then don't drink beer! 'Diet' & 'beer' don't belong in the same sentence. Any self-respecting person will tell you that (men especially!). Alas, with such a fast-paced game that requires you to skillfully watch the orange globe, light beer finds itself a niche.
Your welcome. Suggestions?
February 6, 2012
Finally! Its Over!
To me, the worst time to be a sports fan is the two weeks before the Super Bowl and the week after. There's nothing wrong with the game itself. Hell, its called America's Game for a reason & the one they played Sunday was good. Damn good. That said, the rest of it is mind-numbing.
You cannot watch ESPN the two weeks beforehand that magical Sunday. The network digs analysts out of the walls to dissect every aspect of the game. Who has the better pas rush? Who's quarterback is more elite? Which team has the better color scheme? How many first downs should we expect to see? If you had to pick, which team has more of a chance to eat more hamburgers? Okay, some of these are nonsense, but you get the point. ESPN will ignore the rest of the sporting world to talk about one game . . . in two weeks.
Injury news is also annoying during this span. Look at Rob Gronkowski's ankle. True, the injury played an important part of the game, but there where literally 'breaking news' about the status of the tight end's foot joint. My friends knew more about Gronk's busted ankle than the Occupy Pittsburghers getting evicted. Sad.
Now that the game is over, ESPN will over-analyze what happened. They'll play the 'what if' game & critize players for a mistake. Salt in the wound. Merril Hoge'll sy Eli is the best quarterback in the league when six months ago he wouldn't allow him into his top fifteen. Overflowing love for the Giants will pouring out of the television & stain your carpet. Then, they'll talk about if the Giant can repeat or how the Giant can get better in the draft. The draft! That's another story!
Ths is around the time when I cannot wait for NASCAR to start. Daytona 500 in thre weeks, baby!
Congradulations New York Giants
You cannot watch ESPN the two weeks beforehand that magical Sunday. The network digs analysts out of the walls to dissect every aspect of the game. Who has the better pas rush? Who's quarterback is more elite? Which team has the better color scheme? How many first downs should we expect to see? If you had to pick, which team has more of a chance to eat more hamburgers? Okay, some of these are nonsense, but you get the point. ESPN will ignore the rest of the sporting world to talk about one game . . . in two weeks.
Injury news is also annoying during this span. Look at Rob Gronkowski's ankle. True, the injury played an important part of the game, but there where literally 'breaking news' about the status of the tight end's foot joint. My friends knew more about Gronk's busted ankle than the Occupy Pittsburghers getting evicted. Sad.
Now that the game is over, ESPN will over-analyze what happened. They'll play the 'what if' game & critize players for a mistake. Salt in the wound. Merril Hoge'll sy Eli is the best quarterback in the league when six months ago he wouldn't allow him into his top fifteen. Overflowing love for the Giants will pouring out of the television & stain your carpet. Then, they'll talk about if the Giant can repeat or how the Giant can get better in the draft. The draft! That's another story!
Ths is around the time when I cannot wait for NASCAR to start. Daytona 500 in thre weeks, baby!
Congradulations New York Giants
February 3, 2012
Josh Hamilton: Role Model
I don't know if any of you know who Josh Hamilton, but he's a athlete you should familiarize yourselves with. Mr. Hamilton is the left fielder for the Texas Rangers. He's 6'4", 240 lbs., and left-handed. Josh is a four-time All-Star, the 2010 AL MVP, and a genuinely nice guy.
He's also (and this is were the story begins) a recovering alcoholic. He'll tell you that without shame.
His tale is a sad one. He began his baseball career in 2001 as a top prospect and a drug/alcohol addict. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays tried to help him, but he successfully drank and used his way out of the MLB by 2004. After being confronted by his grandmother, he entered rehab in 2005.
In 2007, a clean Josh Hamilton returned to baseball as a Cincinnati Red. The next season, the Reds traded him to Texas were his career as taken off and he's one of the most complete players today. But alcoholism is a progressive recovery and one is never wholly cured. Thursday, Hamilton held a press conference and admitted to a recent relapse.
Why did he do this? He could have kept that too himself. I think its because he knows he is a role model to anyone suffering for a addiction. I applaud his candor and strength. It is admirable of him to open up and let others see his weakness. He is brave enough to be the face of addiction.
I openly cheer for Josh Hamilton. The baseball player and the human being.
He's also (and this is were the story begins) a recovering alcoholic. He'll tell you that without shame.
His tale is a sad one. He began his baseball career in 2001 as a top prospect and a drug/alcohol addict. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays tried to help him, but he successfully drank and used his way out of the MLB by 2004. After being confronted by his grandmother, he entered rehab in 2005.
In 2007, a clean Josh Hamilton returned to baseball as a Cincinnati Red. The next season, the Reds traded him to Texas were his career as taken off and he's one of the most complete players today. But alcoholism is a progressive recovery and one is never wholly cured. Thursday, Hamilton held a press conference and admitted to a recent relapse.
Why did he do this? He could have kept that too himself. I think its because he knows he is a role model to anyone suffering for a addiction. I applaud his candor and strength. It is admirable of him to open up and let others see his weakness. He is brave enough to be the face of addiction.
I openly cheer for Josh Hamilton. The baseball player and the human being.
February 1, 2012
Ode to Mascots
What's the purpose of mascots? Do fans really need a Nerf-textured animal inspiring them to cheer?
Is it for the kids? Probably, but do they really care?
Um . . . probably, because they get excited when they see them.
And they like to hug them.
Okay, mascots are cool.
Is it for the kids? Probably, but do they really care?
Um . . . probably, because they get excited when they see them.
And they like to hug them.
WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Highlights - [HQ]
The actual Royal Rumble highlights being at the 4:05 mark. If you're interested . . . I know, you're not :(
Gambling & Sports: Winning Combination
Last Sunday was the beginning of two important (well, important to me anyway) things. It was WWE's Royal Rumble, the starting point to the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is a 30-man match were wrestlers enter at two minute intervals and are eliminated only by being thrown over the top rope. The winner gets to wrestle in the main event of Wrestlemania. The Rumble is pure fun and excitement, but my buddies & I found a way to make it even better.
All you have to do is put money on line.
I credit Ziggy & I for the creation of the Rumble Raffle. We decided to have every one (him, I, our buddies KJ & TJ, my cousin Zack, sister Katherine, and me own mother) put five bucks into a pot and draw three random numbers. If the winner of the Royal Rumble coincides with one of your numbers . . . you win the pot! because there weren't enough of us to pick all thrity numbers, we'd all get our five dollars back if the winner was one of them. Simple gambling at its best!
Thats what makes sports gambling so fun. It gives you a extra thing to care about. To worry over. To hope agianst or for. It hurt when one of my numbers was a guy who clearly wasn't going to win the Rumble. My cousin and sister don't even watch wrestling and they had a blast. Put money up, and you'll care about anything. One time, I went to a Pirates game & a couple rows in front of me where four guys placing two dollar bets on which pierogie would win the race.
So I'd advise all of you to start betting your life's savings on anything with a ball or puck. Go on! Do it! You got nothing to lose . . . kinda . . . I lost the Raffle. My buddy KJ won $35.
All you have to do is put money on line.
I credit Ziggy & I for the creation of the Rumble Raffle. We decided to have every one (him, I, our buddies KJ & TJ, my cousin Zack, sister Katherine, and me own mother) put five bucks into a pot and draw three random numbers. If the winner of the Royal Rumble coincides with one of your numbers . . . you win the pot! because there weren't enough of us to pick all thrity numbers, we'd all get our five dollars back if the winner was one of them. Simple gambling at its best!
Thats what makes sports gambling so fun. It gives you a extra thing to care about. To worry over. To hope agianst or for. It hurt when one of my numbers was a guy who clearly wasn't going to win the Rumble. My cousin and sister don't even watch wrestling and they had a blast. Put money up, and you'll care about anything. One time, I went to a Pirates game & a couple rows in front of me where four guys placing two dollar bets on which pierogie would win the race.
So I'd advise all of you to start betting your life's savings on anything with a ball or puck. Go on! Do it! You got nothing to lose . . . kinda . . . I lost the Raffle. My buddy KJ won $35.
January 31, 2012
The Best Advice a Vendor Can Give You
In 2009, a buddy & I went to Philadelphia for a wrestling show. It was a solid day trip; we left my house at twelve, got there at five, ate Wendy's at six, & grab our seats at seven. As we were waiting for the dark match, a vendor was marching up the stairs, carrying a tube full of ice, long necks, & clear plastic cups.
He was shouting, "Beer here! Beer here! Wrestling's better with a beer!"
Now who can deny that logic? What sound sage-like wisdom. Stranger yet, it came from a native of Philly. Not since the writing of the Declaration of Independence has anything so profoundly intellectual come from the City of Brotherly Love. The great thing about this statement is it can be altered to any scenario.
"Baseball's better with a beer!"
"The Super Bowl is better with a beer!"
"The Oscars are better with a beer!"
"Toby Keith is better with a beer!"
"Grandpa's funeral is better with a beer!"
"Your child's baptism is better with a beer!"
I bought a Yuengling & used it to wash down my new philosophy in life.
He was shouting, "Beer here! Beer here! Wrestling's better with a beer!"
Now who can deny that logic? What sound sage-like wisdom. Stranger yet, it came from a native of Philly. Not since the writing of the Declaration of Independence has anything so profoundly intellectual come from the City of Brotherly Love. The great thing about this statement is it can be altered to any scenario.
"Baseball's better with a beer!"
"The Super Bowl is better with a beer!"
"The Oscars are better with a beer!"
"Toby Keith is better with a beer!"
"Grandpa's funeral is better with a beer!"
"Your child's baptism is better with a beer!"
I bought a Yuengling & used it to wash down my new philosophy in life.
January 28, 2012
He Said What . . . ?!
Below I have borrowed (piss off SOPA) a clip from the NHL All-Star Draft last Thursday Night. Chicago Blackhawks' forward Patrick Kane wore a microphone for the event. Hear what he had to say at the six second mark. Go ahead, I'll wait . . . done yet? C'mon the clip is only ten seconds.
Many people are upset with Patty Kane for this. Why? He cannot check someone out? Give me a break. Sometimes, the sticks up people's asses are edged in too tight.
Many people are upset with Patty Kane for this. Why? He cannot check someone out? Give me a break. Sometimes, the sticks up people's asses are edged in too tight.
January 27, 2012
Benchwarmers
Every good team has deep bench. The bench is used to sub the star players out and give them a rest so they are fresh for the game's crunch time. Almost every championship team is equipped with a deep, talented bench (ask the 2010-2011 Miami Heat if a bench matters!).
For us fans of sports, a good bench is equally important. Not in terms of getting rest or providing a spark, but in a more 'everyday' sense.
Example: The NHL Winter Classic came to Pittsburgh a couple years ago. I, like practically all of the city, was beyond jacked. The cool thing was, the game was going to air at noon on New Year's Day. My workplace, Sheetz, mandates all employees to work holidays, but on half shifts with time and half pay. I was scheduled to work 10am-2pm. An obvious problem (mainly because I didn't ask for a earlier shift in the SIX MONTHS beforehand).
Enter, the bench. Like a good coach would, I called on my bench . . . in this case coworkers who don't care about sports. Every workplace has them. The people who cannot name the Steelers's starting quarterback or do not know that the Pirates suck. They simply have no interest in athletic competition. They're the go-to people when us sports fans need a quick change.
After a couple of phone calls and texts, I found someone to take my shift. Would I miss the extra money? Probably, but like Hell was I going to miss the Pens vs the Caps in the Winter Classic! So thank you, lacking sports-enthusiast coworkers. This blog is dedicated to you.
Bonus! The game was pushed back to seven at night so I got the whole damn day off. Buck in the system.
For us fans of sports, a good bench is equally important. Not in terms of getting rest or providing a spark, but in a more 'everyday' sense.
Example: The NHL Winter Classic came to Pittsburgh a couple years ago. I, like practically all of the city, was beyond jacked. The cool thing was, the game was going to air at noon on New Year's Day. My workplace, Sheetz, mandates all employees to work holidays, but on half shifts with time and half pay. I was scheduled to work 10am-2pm. An obvious problem (mainly because I didn't ask for a earlier shift in the SIX MONTHS beforehand).
Enter, the bench. Like a good coach would, I called on my bench . . . in this case coworkers who don't care about sports. Every workplace has them. The people who cannot name the Steelers's starting quarterback or do not know that the Pirates suck. They simply have no interest in athletic competition. They're the go-to people when us sports fans need a quick change.
After a couple of phone calls and texts, I found someone to take my shift. Would I miss the extra money? Probably, but like Hell was I going to miss the Pens vs the Caps in the Winter Classic! So thank you, lacking sports-enthusiast coworkers. This blog is dedicated to you.
Bonus! The game was pushed back to seven at night so I got the whole damn day off. Buck in the system.
January 25, 2012
When Sports Rob You of Your Genius
Thanks Billy Cundiff. Thanks a lot.
It was Week 15 in the NFL when I made the bold prediction that the Baltimore Ravens would represent the American Football Conference in the Super Bowl. Yes, I picked those hated Ravens. Yes, I picked them over the Steelers. A cardinal sin 'round these parts (Ha! totally made a avian pun). My buddies informed me that Pittsburgh was the dark horse or dark horses. They would win. I wasn't convinced. I liked Baltimore's chances. It was the strange combination of their stout defense and cocky attitude of their quarterback Joe Flacco and their awesome running game lead my Ray Rice. I looked at their team and though winners.
I looked good when Tebow bounced Pittsburgh out in the Wild Card round. My resolve was strengthened when the Ravens defeated the Houston Texans a week later. And for three quarters of the AFC Championship Game, the Ravens outplayed the dynasty known as the New England Patriots. The Pats came back in the fourth, but the Ravens hung around.
With fifteen seconds left, New England lead 23-20. But Baltimore was driving down the field on the arm of Flacco with assits from the hands and legs of Anquan Boldin. The drive stalled, but the damage was done. Fate called upon Billy Cundiff
All I needed was for Cundiff to make a chip-shot 23 yard field goal to send the game into overtime. Anything can happen in overtime. Anything! I was still on the verge of being called 'the guy that called it'. I was still in the hunt of looking like a freaking genius. I was--
He fucking missed it! That damn thing didn't have a chance once it left his fucking toe!
So I'm not 'that guy'. I'm not smarter than my friends. Hell, I'm another victim of Tom Brady.
It was Week 15 in the NFL when I made the bold prediction that the Baltimore Ravens would represent the American Football Conference in the Super Bowl. Yes, I picked those hated Ravens. Yes, I picked them over the Steelers. A cardinal sin 'round these parts (Ha! totally made a avian pun). My buddies informed me that Pittsburgh was the dark horse or dark horses. They would win. I wasn't convinced. I liked Baltimore's chances. It was the strange combination of their stout defense and cocky attitude of their quarterback Joe Flacco and their awesome running game lead my Ray Rice. I looked at their team and though winners.
I looked good when Tebow bounced Pittsburgh out in the Wild Card round. My resolve was strengthened when the Ravens defeated the Houston Texans a week later. And for three quarters of the AFC Championship Game, the Ravens outplayed the dynasty known as the New England Patriots. The Pats came back in the fourth, but the Ravens hung around.
With fifteen seconds left, New England lead 23-20. But Baltimore was driving down the field on the arm of Flacco with assits from the hands and legs of Anquan Boldin. The drive stalled, but the damage was done. Fate called upon Billy Cundiff
All I needed was for Cundiff to make a chip-shot 23 yard field goal to send the game into overtime. Anything can happen in overtime. Anything! I was still on the verge of being called 'the guy that called it'. I was still in the hunt of looking like a freaking genius. I was--
He fucking missed it! That damn thing didn't have a chance once it left his fucking toe!
So I'm not 'that guy'. I'm not smarter than my friends. Hell, I'm another victim of Tom Brady.
January 18, 2012
The Best Teammate
My fiancee Lindsey is the best teammate I've ever had. She calms me down when my chili's been running hot. She asks me if I want a beer every time she gets up (which is pretty damn romantic to me!). She listens to my ideas and gives me strong feedback. Hell, her input makes my stories better. She says my backrubs are good when I know they suck. Cliches be damned, she makes me a better person.
Sometimes, she declares her intention to make a cake. Out of left field she'll say, "I think I'm going to make a cake for _____". This is one of my favorite sentences I hear her say. I converted her into a fan of hockey & professional wrestling. She loves Geno and hates The Miz. Her laugh is loud and her punches hurt after the twelfth one.
We went to Wrestlemania 27 last year in Atlanta, Georgia. During the Undertaker/Triple H match, she stood up on her toes and shouted in my ear, "This is awesome!", then kissed me on the cheek. It only gets better everyday.
Sometimes, she declares her intention to make a cake. Out of left field she'll say, "I think I'm going to make a cake for _____". This is one of my favorite sentences I hear her say. I converted her into a fan of hockey & professional wrestling. She loves Geno and hates The Miz. Her laugh is loud and her punches hurt after the twelfth one.
We went to Wrestlemania 27 last year in Atlanta, Georgia. During the Undertaker/Triple H match, she stood up on her toes and shouted in my ear, "This is awesome!", then kissed me on the cheek. It only gets better everyday.
Away Games: Going to the Bar for the Game
Most people would rather watch the game one of two ways: at home or at the actually game itself. For those whom want the comfort of home with a arena atmosphere, they go to their local bar. Here's a Pro-Con list for doing such:
Pro - Loud people make game more fun.
Con - Loud people will eventually irritate you.
Pro - Beer tastes better and is colder at a bar. Who knows why, it just does.
Con - Beer is expensive at a bar. Especially if you cannot stomach shit beer like Miller Light & Budanything.
Pro - Bar food is fucking awesome. Nay, amazing. The strategy of batter-coating stuff and deep-frying it to golden perfection works on any level. Plus, bar food is usually cheapish.
Con - Ask the toilet about an hour later . . .
Pro - You get insight into the game from worldly, knowledgeable fans who have been watching this sport for decades. Some of the wisest people gather at bars.
Con - Drunks try to do the same thing. Hell, if they're not drunk than they're idiots who think the referees are constantly screwing the Steelers and this year is the Pirates' year because of . . . um, I don't know?
Pro - Lots of television screens to view the game.
Con - No volume to hear the game.
If you cannot tell, I like my couch or a barstool. But you make up your own damn mind.
Pro - Loud people make game more fun.
Con - Loud people will eventually irritate you.
Pro - Beer tastes better and is colder at a bar. Who knows why, it just does.
Con - Beer is expensive at a bar. Especially if you cannot stomach shit beer like Miller Light & Budanything.
Pro - Bar food is fucking awesome. Nay, amazing. The strategy of batter-coating stuff and deep-frying it to golden perfection works on any level. Plus, bar food is usually cheapish.
Con - Ask the toilet about an hour later . . .
Pro - You get insight into the game from worldly, knowledgeable fans who have been watching this sport for decades. Some of the wisest people gather at bars.
Con - Drunks try to do the same thing. Hell, if they're not drunk than they're idiots who think the referees are constantly screwing the Steelers and this year is the Pirates' year because of . . . um, I don't know?
Pro - Lots of television screens to view the game.
Con - No volume to hear the game.
If you cannot tell, I like my couch or a barstool. But you make up your own damn mind.
He Said What . . . ?!
This is a new segment which I cannot wait to make a regular thing. If given enough time and chances, sports commentators will say some of the dumbest shit. Case in point (and these guys should be really honored to be the first ones here), Bob Errey and Paul Steigerwald. During the Penguins game against the Carolina Hurricanes last night, they said this about 'Canes' netminder Cam Ward:
Steigerwald - "Ward has been on his knees a lot tonight."
Errey - "He was trying to open Ward's legs."
Congradulations, guys! Yins should probably have rephrased.
Steigerwald - "Ward has been on his knees a lot tonight."
Errey - "He was trying to open Ward's legs."
Congradulations, guys! Yins should probably have rephrased.
January 16, 2012
Team Chemistry: Who You Watch What With Matters
Last Saturday, the New Orleans Saints were defeated by the San Francisco 49ers in a instant classic playoff game. It was high scoring, full of big plays, and tears were even dripped. Any football fan enjoyed the Hell outta this game. I certainly did, but for more than the awesomeness of the game. A old lesson was reiterated to me: who you watch the game with matters.
I witnessed the first half of the game with a friend o' mine after we completed work-shopping on our stories for class. Hell, I wasn't excepting to watch the football game because I thought this chore would take longer (maybe our shared laziness in outside class work contributed . . . ?). We sat in my basement bedroom and I stealthily turned the game on (for background noise, duh). Soon, she started watching Drew Brees sling the pigskin around. Now, she has a passing knowledge of football: she knows what a touchdown is, understands defense is important, and can appreciate a big play. That's fine, but I wasn't able to emerge myself into the game. When Tarell Brown intercepted a overthrown ball off-balanced with his fingertips, I flipped! She nodded her head. This is going to sound asshole-ish, but I was thankful she had to go and I was clear to run to my buddy's house for the second half.
There, I was in football mode. Loud and animated and dissecting plays while my buddy sung the praises of every big time player. The fourth quarter showcased thirty-four points and three backbreaking, momentum-stealing plays. Our testosterone-fueled yelling probably drew the ire of his neighbors, but we didn't care. IT'S FOOTBALL! America's game! You don't like it call the cops. Hell, they probably would join us and have a couple of beers.
Moral of the story, pick who you watch the game with carefully and work your school schedule around it. Your teachers will understand a paper being a day late on the Monday after the divisional round of playoffs. They're cool like that. My female friend however . . . I'll buy her a Starbucks coffee to apologize.
I witnessed the first half of the game with a friend o' mine after we completed work-shopping on our stories for class. Hell, I wasn't excepting to watch the football game because I thought this chore would take longer (maybe our shared laziness in outside class work contributed . . . ?). We sat in my basement bedroom and I stealthily turned the game on (for background noise, duh). Soon, she started watching Drew Brees sling the pigskin around. Now, she has a passing knowledge of football: she knows what a touchdown is, understands defense is important, and can appreciate a big play. That's fine, but I wasn't able to emerge myself into the game. When Tarell Brown intercepted a overthrown ball off-balanced with his fingertips, I flipped! She nodded her head. This is going to sound asshole-ish, but I was thankful she had to go and I was clear to run to my buddy's house for the second half.
There, I was in football mode. Loud and animated and dissecting plays while my buddy sung the praises of every big time player. The fourth quarter showcased thirty-four points and three backbreaking, momentum-stealing plays. Our testosterone-fueled yelling probably drew the ire of his neighbors, but we didn't care. IT'S FOOTBALL! America's game! You don't like it call the cops. Hell, they probably would join us and have a couple of beers.
Moral of the story, pick who you watch the game with carefully and work your school schedule around it. Your teachers will understand a paper being a day late on the Monday after the divisional round of playoffs. They're cool like that. My female friend however . . . I'll buy her a Starbucks coffee to apologize.
January 14, 2012
Pre-Game: The Introduction to What the Hell is Going Here
What's up? How's it going? How 'bout them Steelers?
My name is Andrew Brown & I am a avid sports fan. When I say sports fan I mean any and all athletic competition; hockey, baseball, auto racing, football, basketball--it doesn't matter! Hell, I even watch professional wrestling and golf. My teenage and young adult years have been spent sitting on my ass in front of the television, eating pretzels, drinking beer, and watching sports. Regrets? Hell no, except there being only two ESPNs. When I do leave the loving embrace of the couch, I'm most likely going to a game or making a beer run.
Thanks to this rigoruos training regimen, I have developed many opinions and made many observations regarding the sports world. Some are funny. Some are nasty. Some are . . . well, pointless (that omition surely won me more readers). I hope my posts well entertain & maybe inform you. Hell, if you disagree than say so. What's cooler talk without some one else? Have fun! Game on!
My name is Andrew Brown & I am a avid sports fan. When I say sports fan I mean any and all athletic competition; hockey, baseball, auto racing, football, basketball--it doesn't matter! Hell, I even watch professional wrestling and golf. My teenage and young adult years have been spent sitting on my ass in front of the television, eating pretzels, drinking beer, and watching sports. Regrets? Hell no, except there being only two ESPNs. When I do leave the loving embrace of the couch, I'm most likely going to a game or making a beer run.
Thanks to this rigoruos training regimen, I have developed many opinions and made many observations regarding the sports world. Some are funny. Some are nasty. Some are . . . well, pointless (that omition surely won me more readers). I hope my posts well entertain & maybe inform you. Hell, if you disagree than say so. What's cooler talk without some one else? Have fun! Game on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)